Here in the Sodom by the Sea, our daily commute on public transit just got a bit more dicey…and not because prices are going up because service is lagging.

Early on New Year’s Day, a young man was detained by BART police after a fight on a East Bay train, but instead of citing, restraining, or arresting the man, the officers forced him face down on the platform and then SHOT HIM IN THE BACK!  Now normally you’d think that the man was fleeing or had threatened the officers with bodily harm, —I have to admit that when I hear about an incident like this that’s where my thoughts normally go—but NO!  A video of the shooting taken from a nearby cell phone has surfaced, and it looks to me like the cop simply murdered this kid like he was euthanizing an animal.

To complicate matters, BART is dragging its feet on the investigation.  In the 5 days since the shooting BART officials have publicly appealed for calm but have taken no statements, not even from the officer himself.  The officer has not been arrested nor formally charged, and it looks for all the world like BART is stonewalling till they can put together a story that exonerates a murderer.

Perhaps it’s time we took deadly weapons away from ‘rent-a-cops’, or at least from cops who don’t have the training provided by our police departments.

This time the currency is honour - Former prime minister Howard, Britain’s Blair and Colombian President Alvaro Uribe are to be awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom next Tuesday.

I can’t really understand how a loser can continue on his corrupt path, now giving away important US symbols to a bunch of other discredited losers. Must make the average American feel like woofing up their Maccas.

The devaluation hurts doubly for me, given my old drinking mate Nancy (the White Mouse) Wake was a post war recipient of the medal. Murdoch’s papers here, still unrelenting Howard apologists, reported on “The Australian born Nancy Wake…” who was in fact New Zealand born.

Australia is one of the few WWII allied countries who refused to recognise Nancy for her incredibly brave undercover work in occupied France. John Howard certainly didn’t want to know about the aging heroine. In the end she left Port Macquarie and went to England where she is still admired at the highest levels. Prince Charles is among those making sure she lives her days out comfortably.

This latest Bush crap is about as meaningful as receiving a good citizenship award from Richard Nixon. Fortunately worthwhile recipients don’t need medals to celebrate great deeds. Little people like Bush and Howard depend on outward show and false credibility. The sooner they are really gone the better!

(Waco) Days into the new year, a Texas doomsday cult today admitted its preparations for the end of the world on December 31, 2008 were erroneous. Ezekiel Frandle, spokesperson for the group That’s All, Sinful Folks, said the group will hold a reassessment process to determine the reason for the world’s continued existence.

However, it will be a big job. Frandle is currently the only remaining That’s All, Sinful Folks member, due to the congregation’s December 31 mass suicides.

Frandle, who is also the group’s founder and chief financial officer, did not explain his reasons for not joining his fellow believers on their premature journeys to the hereafter.

However, Frandle was upbeat in his hope that an explanation will be found for Earth’s non-termination. Possible reasons include a deus ex machina event, a time-space fracture, and metric-standard conversion errors.

Frandle said the explanation could be mysterical or commonplace. “I have to be open to any possibility. Charles Manson once ordered a mass suicide, but called it off after seeing a secret message contained in an edition of American Bandstand,” he said.

The outcome of the reassessment will be an important part in the cult’s return to prominence. The final report will be a major piece in a planned nationwide membership drive, Frandle said. “We’ll need at least 300 new members before we can try this again,” he said.

In Waco, local merchants are pleased That’s All, Sinful Folks will have a continued presence in the community .

“They’re my biggest non-corporate customer,” said Danielle Bigg-Lott, manager of the Sam’s Club. She said the disciplined group’s regular doomsday drills meant they were frequently buying replacement supplies.

“Thanks to Frandle and his followers, I’ve been the biggest seller of Kool-Aid in the southwest for five years running,” Bigg-Lott said.

It is the silly season, the season of lists, my favourite being: 2008: The year in ideas from Britain’s Independent - or more precisely an item therein; Don’t push, nudge.

For libertarians [progressives?], government brings a tricky problem: how do you make people do what you want them to if you don’t believe in bossing them around?

Authors Thaler and Sunstein call their notion “libertarian paternalism” – convincing the populace to change their ways without them realising they’re doing it.

I guess next year they will invent the wheel, but never mind I was more concerned about their inspiration: The Dutch decided you can’t ban men from peeing on the bathroom floor so they painted flies on the urinals as targets. The result was improved accuracy, and cutting down on spillages, by 80 per cent.

I should point out to our amphibian contributors, yes these are insects of the Order Diptera – yum! I should also say that sometimes I’m just plain embarrassed at being a bloke… Still, with a bit of thought on variants of this social engineering we might find a useful solution to Australia’s troublesome insect population.

Defiant in the face of the investigation of whether he attempted to sell his state’s vacant Senate seat, Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich yesterday appointed Chicago icon Dr. Bob Hartley to fill the vacancy left by President-elect Barack Obama.

The appointment is being called an attempt to moot the corruption charges brought by prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald. “Everyone loves Bob Hartley,” Blagojevich declared at a press conference to introduce Hartley to the national media.

“Look at him. He’s a modest man of unimpeachable character. Do ya hear me? Unimpeachable, he’s the button-down choice for the job,” Blagojevich said.

Hartley, a psychologist, is married to Emily Hartley, a public school teacher. The couple has resided in the Edgewater community for over 30 years. In remarks to reporters, Hartley’s trademark understated humor was on display.

“When we first spoke on the phone about the possibility of my being appointed, the governor made that joke about, ‘doctor it hurts when I do this.’ And I said, ‘unless your mother caused it, I can’t help you’,” said Hartley. When this elicited only mild chuckles from the journalists, Hartley said that a Mr. Carlin had assured him that the joke was “a laugh riot.”

Hartley said that he would fill the two years remaining on the Senate term by putting Congress on the couch, talking through issues, and getting to the roots of its problems. “If someone says liberals are the problem, I’d tell them ‘why don’t you go with that’. But I’d help them examine that phobia, and overcome that irrational fear,” Hartley said.

Today Fitzgerald’s office released a transcript of a wiretap of the initial phone call with the governor mentioned by Hartley. However, only Hartley’s side of the conversation was included.

Hartley: Hello? Yes, this is Dr. Hartley. Uh, yes, I’ll hold for Gov. Bla-. [5 minutes later] Hello, governor. I- I’m doing fine, and yourself? Uh-huh. I hadn’t heard that. No, actually I haven’t been reading the papers. Or TV, no. Really. Really? I see. That certainly does sound like a difficult situation. They offered what? Well, appreciation can be nice. I wouldn’t necessarily call it ungrateful. No, it’s not the same as a few million. Or HHS Secretary.

So what happens now? Fitzgerald, uh-huh. Grand jury, uh-huh. Yes, that does sound serious. At least you have Patti to stand by you. Oh, her too? Well, at least it’s bringing you closer together.

So how can I help you today? Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. What? You want to appoint me? Beloved pop culture icon. Well, I do resemble that remark. Tell you what, uh, ‘governor,’ why don’t I transfer you to my assistant Carol, and she can schedule you for a session- I mean conference. Say this Thursday afternoon? Fine. Fine. Hold on and I’ll transfer you. What? Of course, totally confidential. Good- good bye, governor.

Fitzgerald also said that Hartley is not a focus of the overall investigation into Blagojevich.

My understanding of ‘The American Dream’, to the extent that I have one, is this:  The ability to provide a more prosperous, more secure life for one’s children than one has enjoyed for oneself.  And the keys to the American Dream, in my opinion, are hard work and education.  Now…setting aside the former—one could write volumes on how hard work alone is irrelevant in an economic game already rigged in favor of the wealthy—education was once our society’s great equalizer.  With decent, free education through the age of 18 and a merit-based system of colleges that almost anyone could attend and many could afford, the United States once had a powerful engine of cross-generational prosperity.  Sadly this is no longer the case.

The New York Times notes that in the 25 years since the early eighties, college tuition costs have risen over 400% while family incomes have risen only 147%, in inflation adjusted dollars.  So in order to send their children to a four-year public university, many middle-class families must take on a crushing debt burden.  Combine this with a system of grants and scholarships that provide proportionally more money to the already affluent, and you envision the end of post K-12 education for the majority of Americans.  Not that it matters anyway.  In many industries, especially more lucrative areas such as finance and consulting, students that graduate from any university not in the top 15 in the nation, are ignored, basically unemployable.

I also note with considerable irony that I was able to get both my bachelor’s and master’s degrees (in the early 80s, of course) without incurring any debt.  In the case of the former, I worked throughout my undergraduate career, splitting my college costs about 60/40 with my parents.  In the case of the latter, my employer paid my tuition, and I continued to work while obtaining my degree.  But, had I attempted that today, I would leave the same university I attended with almost $60,000 in debt, covering only the smallest fraction of my costs by working…and that’s only if I could get in.  Today, that university’s admission standards are so high (due to the huge crush of applicants, both foreign and domestic) that my own application would have been rejected.

All these factors lead to an inescapable fact… Today’s older workers are more educated than the workers of the generations that follow them, and this trend is not likely to reverse itself.  A combination of un-affordable education, educational elitism, and post-graduate lack of opportunity, has killed the American Dream.  In fact, we may be many decades past its death.

Me:  What do you think she’ll name him?

Kvatch:  Bush.

I’m still giggling over that one!

When it comes to Christmas downunder you can forget bout hazy religious notions, of old world traditions. This strange land is evolving its own excuse for a hedonistic holiday. Start with a champagne/BBQ breakfast – well two of us had champagne, the rest opting for various other early morning poisons.

It was a strange lineup as well; a Japanese chef, an Aussie brick layer, an middle eastern electrical engineer (forgoing booze because he was responsible for monitoring the power supply for the north of the state this auspicious day), a bevy of children and other assorted humans.

During the well lubricated discussion the Japanese chef expressed his delight and wonder at the way Australia accepts immigrants from all over. “Yeah,” the bricklayer said, “bloody immigration will kill this country!” Neither seemed to actually hear the other and the goodwill flowed on.

Lunch, down by the beach, was another hedonistic treat – table laden with a united nations of salads, fresh local sea food and a few cold slices of dead animal. This arrangement has evolved as the least intrusive on the free flow of conversation and booze – both during prep and consumption.

So back home, numb from feast and an unlikely cab-shiraz-merlot, the out of town calls began. Despite children ebbing and flowing throughout the day they were now to star. Given the legendary fecund nature of the family news of another grand-nephew was hardly surprising.

It was the second call from my Punjabi friends now living in Adelaide. “It’s a girl,” Singh shouted. “I want to call her Harry, but they insist on a traditional name. No worries,” he added. “We can call her Harry. Now I need another beer…” Like the unlikely cab-shiraz-merlot blend the unlikely cultural blend was wonderfully intoxicating and satisfying. Christmas is evolving.

Other ‘nonconformist’ Mutant Reindeer, who Were Also Ostracized until Santa Discovered they could Serve His Purposes:

Curt the Card-Counting Reindeer
Stella the Martini-Mixing Reindeer
Mitch the Non-Union Reindeer
Maxwell the Tax Attorney Reindeer
Denise the Dependent Living with You Reindeer
Eric the Air-to-Air Missile-Antlered Reindeer
Stew the Tastes Good Reindeer (1995-2002)
Phillipe the Speaks Afghani Reindeer
Lana the Looks Good in a Bikini Reindeer

…one last time!