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Trump Change

December 1, 2016 @ 5:32 pm By: Kvatch Category: Education, Law, Trump

For $24M, Emperor-elect Trump will settle two class actions lawsuits regarding how Trump University fleeced its students. For those of you keeping score that amounts to just over 1/2 of 1% of Trump’s net worth and, after the lawyers get their cut, maybe $600 per member of the class.

Crumbs from the emperor’s table.

Trump Tells 140M Americans To Pound Sand

November 18, 2016 @ 5:28 pm By: Kvatch Category: Politics, Trump

Forget the President-elect’s claim that he will represent all Americans. Like all of his other lies, it’s just bullshit posturing.

Actions speak louder than words, and Trump’s ‘Victory Tour’ of the states he carried is his way of telling 140,000,000 Americans to go fuck themselves.

Grade School to Gen Pop for Everyone!

November 11, 2016 @ 10:23 am By: Kvatch Category: Law-and-order, Racism, Satire

Forget statistics that say we’re more safe now then at any time in our country’s history! Those are a left-wing conspiracy—fiction made up by the liberal media elite. President-elect Trump is the only one who can save us from the black/latino/muslim/feminazi hordes that are coming to steal our women, take our jobs, torch our double-wides, and make us bake cakes for LGBT weddings.

And how should we deal with crime wave that threatens the very essence of our privileged lives? Well, let’s take a lesson from inner-city school systems that have successfully managed away the problem for decades. Why allow the little deviants to ever reach adulthood on the outside at all? At the first sign of an infraction just call in the police and put the little mother-fuckers on a fast track to permanent incarceration.

Gen pop for these kids!Like these little delinquents from Maple Grove High School, Minnesota. No need for counseling or for some liberal mamby-pamby solution that keeps it off their record. Just round the little fuckers up and throw them in Juvi for a few months. And then…the next time they decide to act out? Throw away the key! Lock em in Juvenile Hall until they reach the age of majority. Good luck with that Ivy League college application little con, and if you manage to to get a post-juvi job at all, it might be just enough to get you a shitty little hovel in a bad neighborhood. But you, your parents, friends, neighbors, and President Law-and-order will rest easy knowing that ‘Merica is safe.

Grade school to Gen Pop has been a successful program for dealing with inner-city kids for decades. Should we expect anything less for all our nation’s youth?

White Privilege Wins

November 9, 2016 @ 2:05 am By: Kvatch Category: History, Politics

This country cannot be saved, and is no longer worth saving.

Nothing left to do at this point but figure out how to get out before the doors are shut for good.

Stronger Together?

October 17, 2016 @ 12:56 pm By: Kvatch Category: Elections, History, Politics

This is the tagline of Hillary Clinton’s campaign, but as the nastiest presidential election in collective memories of every American alive today grinds to a close, the few of us that proudly remain on America’s left need to ask if it makes any sense to even consider common cause with our fellow citizens.

For over 30 years, since Ronald Reagan’s first inaugural, the right has been on an unrelenting campaign to turn America’s progressives and liberals into demons—and oh how they have succeeded. Even the Democrats, who might be expected to provide cover for liberals, broke with them during Bill Clinton’s campaign, and cast us off as relics impeding the party’s ability to win elections. And so, lacking any champion at the national level, we were branded as libtards, feminazis, and traitors. The blowback has even reached the center-right Democrats represented by Clinton, as unhinged racists openly talk about revolution, assassinating the former Secretary of State before she can assume office, and rounding up the leftists preparatory to stripping them of their citizenship and deporting them. (That last, by the way, is unconstitutional, but that hardly matters to your average Trump supporter who cheers their candidate’s promises to lock up his opponent till she rots.)

So here’s the thing… Evangelicals lament America’s drift toward immorality. They claim that America has abandoned them and their way of life. Southerners, 150 years after the Civil War’s end, lament the loss of separate identity and curse the nation that took them back. Citizens in the rust belt lament lost industries and the jobs that went with them. White males lament a lost patriarchy and curse the crushing political blow that they are about to receive. But in this festival of loss not one of these constituencies conceptualizes that, through each political or economic spasm, the coasts with their liberal politics, inclusive values, and vibrant multi-cultural populations have continued to keep America chugging along. These states and regions are the ones that put $2 into federal coffers while taking back $1. These states and regions are the ones that provide the innovation that brings the country back from massive financial misdeeds and might provide a way forward.

We didn’t abandon the evangelicals. They chose to abandon us, branded us as immoral “others”. We didn’t force Southerners to chose separation. They chose it for themselves. We did not take coal jobs from Appalachia, automotive jobs from Detroit, or steel jobs from the midwest, but once those jobs were gone we tried our damnedest to provide the money for training and retooling. We can’t help white males who feel threatened. Being forced to compete on equal terms with women, other races, other creeds, and other orientations is the imperative of our Constitution.

There is no longer any reason to reach out, no reason to compromise.

LET…THEM…DIE!

Clinton has it wrong. We are not stronger together.

Get Your Gun

July 11, 2016 @ 10:50 pm By: Kvatch Category: Race, Rights, Society

GunFor a white man owning a gun is a legitimate expression of his 2nd Amendment right to bear arms.

For a black man owning a gun is a death sentence meted out by a state-sanctioned assassin.

Philando Castile found this out.

When Policemen Become Assassins…

July 8, 2016 @ 4:29 pm By: Kvatch Category: Police, Protest, Texas, Violence

…the targets may just decide to fight back. As deplorable as the tragedy in Dallas is, we should have seen this coming a mile off. You can only murder under color of authority so many young black men before someone will get it into their head to take revenge.

And in the meantime sniveling conservative cowards like former Representative Joe Walsh try to turn this into a race war, while conveniently forgetting that their support for the police at the expense of everyone else rests on a firm foundation of hypocrisy. Muslims should rat out their ‘terrorist brothers and sisters'; Hispanics should turn in their undocumented friends; Blacks should snitch on drug dealing thugs, peaceful BLM protestors, and whomever else whitey is worried about today. But policemen? No. Policemen have no obligation to root out the predators in their midst.

There will be no peace–can be no peace, should be no peace–while blue-clad assassins continue to murder with impunity.

Stupid McLawsPlace

June 29, 2016 @ 2:49 pm By: Kvatch Category: District of Columbia, Politics, Snark

As the DC Mayor’s Office re-engages in the, probably futile, process of trying to enfranchise its citizens through statehood, the question arises: What should the 51st state be called.

‘New Columbia’ has been suggested, but this frog doesn’t think that the name really captures the pure, viscous, indifference of the Senators and Representatives that will…never…Ever…EVER allow representation for District residents. (And lest you think that this doesn’t apply to Democrats, think again! As our starry-eyed mayor will soon find, Democrats have no more taste for DC statehood then their Republican counterparts.)

So, in honor of the masters of our congressional plantation, I suggest:

Stupid McLawsPlace

Texit: Only In My Dreams

June 25, 2016 @ 7:05 pm By: Kvatch Category: Politics, Snark, Texas

Now that the Brits have voted to exit the European Union, secessionist fools in the Great State of Texass have decided to revive the notion of Texas’ exit from The Union. But there’s a big difference between the UK’s departure from the EU and Texas’ exit from the United States…

Texit

For starters, if Texans are stupid enough to try and secede the response from their fellow citizens in the other 49 will be, “Take your backwater, racist, gerrymandered, federal-dollar-sucking asses and GET THE FUCK OUT! Good riddance!” No US citizen should give a damn that these arrogant assholes want to isolate themselves in their parched little corner of North America. Let them snuggle up close to Mexico, who may be their only source of commerce and…well…water! (Because, let’s face it, not a single river that allows Texans to frack-the-crap out of their state originates in their state, and when New Mexico, Oklahoma, Arkansas decide turn off the spigot, Texas will dry up and blow away.)

And for those of us who remain in the good ‘ol US-of-A: How wonderful will it be to never again have to listen to a barely literate, white, ethically challenged, Texas governor lecture us? How wonderful to never again have to some piece-of-shit Texan disdainfully refer to one of us as a “Yankee” despite the fact that we come from Louisiana, or Florida, or wherever.

Keep your guns and your poverty-level ‘jobs miracle’. Never again saddle us with an idiot for president, and please, please, please don’t just play at leaving the Union. Put your money where your loud Texan mouths are…GO and be done.

Fuck the Tourists!

June 16, 2016 @ 6:53 pm By: Kvatch Category: District of Columbia, Protest, Rights

It’s tourist season again in the nation’s capitol, and as the hundreds of thousands of our fellow citizens flock to Washington to spend some days contemplating our national treasures, some of us residents will invariably be asked for directions, for restaurant recommendation, or told with wide-eyed wonder how lucky we are to live amid such bounty.

I would humbly suggest to my fellow DC residents, that this is the opportune time to inform these naive vacationers of how we really feel about living on the congressional plantation. I suggest looking them straight in the eye and saying:

Fuck you and fuck your family!

It’s your representatives, your senators, that keep us in chains—unable to make our own laws, spend our own taxes, and exercise the most fundamental obligation of any American, the right to vote for our own representation.

If your concept of democracy is so exclusive that it doesn’t extend to the citizens of your nation’s capital, then GO-THE-FUCK-BACK where you came from and leave us in peace.

I guarantee that this will get Congress’ attention. Americans love to write their representatives when they feel they’ve been slighted.

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