Impure thoughts
for complex times.

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Archive for the ‘Internet’

Skynet is that you?

January 10, 2011 By: Frogette Category: Conspiracy, Humor, Internet 2 Comments →

Tomorrow is 1/11/11. Computers, this is not a sign that it’s time to rise against us!

~ Stephen Colbert (via Twitter)

IP blocking an ancient art

September 13, 2009 By: Cartledge Category: Commentary, History, Internet 2 Comments →

Recent discoveries have revealed that IP(indigenous pictograph) technology filtering technology might have been an issue as long as 60,000 years ago. The original developers of rock based communications in Australia, Gwion Gwion, developed a durable archive; albeit without effective date stamping and certainly with no anticipation of BCE – CE.

From Gwion Gwion

There are more than 10,000 of these sites in Northern Australia, showing the potential of rocks as long term storage devices. This is despite constant attempts over eons to overwrite the original servers. Miraculously these gorgeous old girls survived intact in the face of successive moves to censor them.

Of course the Gwion Gwion platform has survived time and space and is generally referred to now as graffiti. The miracle, beyond mere survival, is survival in the face of constant attempts to eradicate it. Rocks, walls and other surfaces might be slow communication modes, but perhaps not that much slower than Aussie broadband.

These archives have survived countless tens of thousands of years, but are now under threat from malicious ‘wetware’ known as VANDALS v2009+. You can find pictures of one of these vulnerable ‘rock servers’ and some of the graphics they store HERE.

An Elizabeth takes exception to nickname

June 22, 2009 By: ERITAS News Service Category: Humor, Internet, Politics, Satire, Society 2 Comments →

Miss Elizabeth Bennet
Longbourn

Dear Miss Elizabeth,

You will permit me to express the enormity of the rapture I feel owing to your acceptance of me last evening. In my mind’s eye I am content to envision us ensconced at Pemberley. You, a vision in silk and jewels, your eyes reflecting the sunset more brilliantly than the well-stocked lake. Me, regarding the vista before me, and finding the manicured grounds suddenly inferior to the latest addition. In order that I might pursue my case with your father at the earliest opportunity, please apprise me of the most suitable time when he is at home to receive me.

God bless you,
Fitzwilliam Darcy

=====

Miss Elizabeth Bennet
Longbourn

Dear Liz,

The sun has tracked across the morning sky, and I have not received word from you with regard to your father’s convenience. My love, please reply, as my heart grows impatient at this delay in beginning our union.

God bless you,
Fitzwilliam Darcy

=====

Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy
Netherfield Park

Dear Mr. Darcy,

You will permit me, sir, to ask something of you: WHO is “LIZ”?

Most sincerely,
Elizabeth Bennet

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Miss Elizabeth Bennet
Longbourn

Dear Miss Elizabeth,

Forgive me if my attempt to foster familiarity between us was misplaced as well as hasty. For I was given to believe that the endearment in question to be a form of Elizabeth to be commonly applied in society. But let us not contest this small matter. When may I call on your father?

God bless you,
Fitzwilliam Darcy

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Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy
Netherfield Park

Dear Mr. Darcy,

My identity in the world is no small matter, as you put it. There are many forms of my name, and I take to none of them save for ‘Lizzie’, which I permit only my immediate family. Not Liz, Betty, Beth, or Sexy Petticoats. If it were not so, then by what precedent do others call me Elizabeth, or that I introduce myself to them as Elizabeth, or that I sign this letter

Elizabeth Bennet

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Miss Elizabeth Bennet
Longbourn

Dear Elizabeth,

Look. I thought I heard somebody at Mr. Bingley’s ball call you Liz. Now let us get on with it. D’Accord?

God bless you,
Fitzwilliam Darcy

=====

Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy
Netherfield Park

Dear Mr. Darcy,

WHO? WHO CALLED ME LIZ? You should be aware, sir, that many in town claim to have made my acquaintance, but they do so without cause or justification. I am unfamiliar with customs in the north, but in Hertfordshire there are those who aspire most ardently to certain social circles, yet to which they are not invited, nor shall ever be.

My dear sister Mary informed me that one of your letters arrived when I was indisposed. A lady does need to take a turn out of the drawing room on occasion. I now tire of this correspondence. Please meet me, that we may discuss this misunderstanding. May I suggest that place where we met that time to talk about that thing.

Most sincerely,
Elizabeth Bennet

Laughternoon break

April 19, 2009 By: Frogette Category: Humor, Internet No Comments →

This is hands down the funniest thing I’ve seen in ages.  Facebook Group: World Leaders is absolute genius!  If you love Shouts & Murmurs from the New Yorker you are going to adore Sage Stossel’s sketchbook at Atlantic.

American idiot

April 05, 2009 By: Frogette Category: Blogging, Commentary, Entertainment, Internet 7 Comments →

So I read a blurb in The Week magazine about celebrities hiring ghost writers to compose their “tweets” on Twitter.  Seriously.  Doesn’t that make us the laziest, stupidest group of people on the planet?  If you can’t even be bothered to write a one liner mini-blog post shouldn’t you just give up and stay off Twitter?  I know you probably don’t believe me, but this is real.  Apparently Britney Spears, 50 Cent and even Ron Paul have all copped to having Twitter ghostwriters.  Clearly we are doomed.

Revenge Is Sweet Indeed

August 18, 2008 By: Kvatch Category: Internet, Society 3 Comments →

Continuing on with today’s underwear theme, Gizmodo clues us in to the best revenge stunt we’ve heard of in a long time.

Don't leave your undies around or they might end up on eBay!

The Tart’s Knickers

The Worst Deal In Entertainment Keeps Getting Worse

June 10, 2008 By: Kvatch Category: Internet, Media, Technology 9 Comments →

Technological advances are supposed to make our lives easier—cheaper too—according to the conventional wisdom. But when it comes to television, the worst deal in entertainment keeps getting worse.

Are you a cable subscriber? And if so do you watch more than a fraction of the stations delivered to you? In fact, most of us don’t. So when the cable industry tries to tell you that your cost per hour has remained flat for over a decade, keep in mind that their argument only holds up if your viewing time has skyrocketed. Back in 1996, I paid about $35/month for “extended-basic” cable. Were I to subscribe today the cost would be around $60, an increase that is double the rate of inflation.

And do I get more for that additional cost? Not really. 40 more channels, but none that I watch. Digital cable? Nope. That costs extra. High-definition picture? No again. You gotta pay even more for that on top of the cost of digital cable. “So what,” you may ask, “…keeps the cable industry cranking along?” Only dead-simple convenience. No hassles, little hardware, high-bandwidth—and it’s that last factor, bandwidth, that may be the most important going forward.

I’ve watched a few shows from the Internet, purchased some science fiction from iTunes, and frankly it’s a pain in the ass. One hour of video consumes about a half-a-gig of storage and takes forever to download. So if the cable industry can just make sure that the ‘hassle factor’ for Internet video remains high, we’ll keep right on buying their overpriced services. Does anyone really think that recently announced ‘bandwidth caps’ and ‘metered pricing’ schemes are designed to slow down P2P? Not a chance! The cable industry wants to stop us from using our Internet connections to download video, thus maintaining their monopoly on content delivery.

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