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Bush motivational speech – Transcript

October 27, 2009 By: ERITAS News Service Category: History, Humor, Politics, Satire 5 Comments →

Fort Worth, Texas
October 26, 2009

Good evening. Tell you what, before we start, why don’t those of you in the back come and fill up some of these opens seats up front here? Come on, lots of empty seats.

Okay, now I can see all your shiny faces. Good evening again, and welcome to my first paid public speaking. Are you ready to rumble? Before I forget, I want to give a special shout-out to the 8,000 of you who won free tickets through 95.9 KFWR The Ranch. “Listeners really win on KFWR.”

I am honored to be invited here today to talk about lessons from my life that can motivate. In other words, life lessons that can motivate you, in your businesses, careers, and personal lives.

Although a lot of the early stuff is kind of hazy, what I do remember is working hard.

The first lesson from my life is that if you work hard, you always win. And let me tell you — I’m a winner. I’ve won every time.

I got into Yale even though I’m as dumb as a stump — because I worked hard. And because of me, Yale had to create a special grade: the E, which they told me stands for Excellent.

I got out of Vietnam but still worked hard serving my country — I earned that free dental work.

Some will tell you I lost my ’78 campaign for Congress, but I think of it as a ‘non-win’ — just sounds better.

I finished six years as Governor of Texas with 152 executions, number one among all governors in recent history. And most of those executions were of guilty people.

And then there was September the 11th, 2001. That was a loss for the United States, it’s true. But in large parts of the world 9/11 is considered a win against America. That’s lesson two from my life: consider other points of view.

Lesson three from my life would have to be good business sense. I started Arbusto Energy, which later got sold to Harken Energy — whew, and managed to sell all my stock in that before it went south.

As a baseball owner, I pulled myself up by my bootstraps by buying a share of the Rangers for $600,000, most of it borrowed, then selling the team and its taxpayer-financed stadium for a huge profit. I’m too bashful to say how much that was — but it rhymes with blourteen boint bline shmillion. Heh heh — pretty good, huh?

This lesson served me in good steed in the last year of my White House when the economy, due to fears of the possible election of Barack Obama, suffered the biggest failure of financial institutions known to man. The situation called for using the fourth lesson from my life — as ye have received, also shalt thou give away others’ money.

So I worked hard, considered other points of view, used my business sense, and then came to the only conclusion possible — I gave them 700 billion of your dollars.

This has been just a preview of all the lessons of my life. You’ll be able to get the rest of them in my forthcoming book, “Lessons Of My Life” By George W. Bush, $34.99, now available for pre-order from Regnery Publishing.

In closing, I hope my life has provided you with the motivation you need to achieve success in your endeavors.

Thank you for your attention, have a nice day, and remember to tip your waitress. Posters, CDs, and “Global War On Terror Global Tour” t-shirts are on sale in the lobby.

Those of you who want to take a picture with me, please form a single line in the center aisle — ten bucks each, cash only.

Zaidi regrets throwing shoes at Bush – “I should have just shouted ‘you lie'”

September 15, 2009 By: ERITAS News Service Category: Health, History, Humor, Politics, Satire 5 Comments →

The Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at former President George W. Bush expressed regret today, soon after his release from prison after serving nine months of a three year sentence.

“I’m sorry,” Muntader al-Zaidi told a gathering of reporters at the al-Baghdadia television studio, and added, “that America had such a satanic warmongering leader for eight years.”

A reporter for al-Baghdadia who was covering the Dec. 14, 2008 press conference held by Bush and Iraq prime minister Nuri al-Maliki, Zaidi threw his shoes at Bush and shouted, “this is for the widows and orphans and all those killed in Iraq,” as an act of protest.

“While I was in prison I did a lot of thinking and learning to take my mind off the daily beatings, and what I realized was that shoe-throwing is not something you do in a free society,” said Zaidi.

Zaidi went on to say, “I should have just yelled the stuff about widows and orphans. And even that was too wordy, I should have just yelled ‘you lie!’ like that patriotic American congressman,” he said.

“I learned there is no penalty if you do that in a free society, absolutely none at all, zero, nada. And as we all know Iraq is totally free thanks to American intervention,” Zaidi said.

Zaidi appeared to be in good condition after his imprisonment, although he was missing a front tooth. However, he said he would be getting dental work done thanks to the single payer health system — created by the new Iraq constitution drafted by the Bush Administration in 2005.

IP blocking an ancient art

September 13, 2009 By: Cartledge Category: Commentary, History, Internet 2 Comments →

Recent discoveries have revealed that IP(indigenous pictograph) technology filtering technology might have been an issue as long as 60,000 years ago. The original developers of rock based communications in Australia, Gwion Gwion, developed a durable archive; albeit without effective date stamping and certainly with no anticipation of BCE – CE.

From Gwion Gwion

There are more than 10,000 of these sites in Northern Australia, showing the potential of rocks as long term storage devices. This is despite constant attempts over eons to overwrite the original servers. Miraculously these gorgeous old girls survived intact in the face of successive moves to censor them.

Of course the Gwion Gwion platform has survived time and space and is generally referred to now as graffiti. The miracle, beyond mere survival, is survival in the face of constant attempts to eradicate it. Rocks, walls and other surfaces might be slow communication modes, but perhaps not that much slower than Aussie broadband.

These archives have survived countless tens of thousands of years, but are now under threat from malicious ‘wetware’ known as VANDALS v2009+. You can find pictures of one of these vulnerable ‘rock servers’ and some of the graphics they store HERE.

Secretary of State Clinton announces history is about to repeat itself

July 22, 2009 By: Frogette Category: Government, History 10 Comments →

Here we go again

Here we go again

Using the old “The enemy of my enemy is my friend” adage Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced in a speech this week that the U.S. will arm it’s Middle Eastern allies against a nuclear enabled Iran.  Clinton said the move would create a “defense umbrella” across the Middle East.  Have we learned nothing people?  So once again  we’ll give weapons and technology to Iraq and pit them against their neighbors in Iran.  Does the name SADDAM HUSSEIN ring a bell?!  All this means is that in another 15-20 years we’ll be back in Iraq trying to overthrow whatever new strong man emerges and fighting the war all over again.  That’s the tragic thing about America…we never learn.

Asshole of the Week – Pat Buchanan

July 19, 2009 By: Kvatch Category: Commentary, History, Society 12 Comments →

I think white men were 100% of the people who wrote the constitution, 100% of the people who signed the Declaration of Independence, 100% of the people who died at Gettysburg and Vicksburg, probably close 100% of the people who died at Normandy. This has been a country basically built by white folks.

Pat Buchanan — In a commentary on Rachel Maddow’s July 16th broadcast

I think that Chinese made up a huge proportion of the people who slaved to build America’s railroads; Latinos…a large majority of the people who toil so that you can eat arugula whenever you f*cking want; Blacks spent over 150 years in bondage, propping up the economy of the South so that your god-like ‘founders’ could have clothes on their backs. In short, practically every non-Angle Saxon people is represented in the ranks of those who toiled to make this country what it is, you fat, ignorant, shrill, waste of genetic material.

Kvatch — In response

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