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Archive for the ‘Snark’

Stupid McLawsPlace

June 29, 2016 By: Kvatch Category: District of Columbia, Politics, Snark No Comments →

As the DC Mayor’s Office re-engages in the, probably futile, process of trying to enfranchise its citizens through statehood, the question arises: What should the 51st state be called.

‘New Columbia’ has been suggested, but this frog doesn’t think that the name really captures the pure, viscous, indifference of the Senators and Representatives that will…never…Ever…EVER allow representation for District residents. (And lest you think that this doesn’t apply to Democrats, think again! As our starry-eyed mayor will soon find, Democrats have no more taste for DC statehood then their Republican counterparts.)

So, in honor of the masters of our congressional plantation, I suggest:

Stupid McLawsPlace

Texit: Only In My Dreams

June 25, 2016 By: Kvatch Category: Politics, Snark, Texas No Comments →

Now that the Brits have voted to exit the European Union, secessionist fools in the Great State of Texass have decided to revive the notion of Texas’ exit from The Union. But there’s a big difference between the UK’s departure from the EU and Texas’ exit from the United States…

Texit

For starters, if Texans are stupid enough to try and secede the response from their fellow citizens in the other 49 will be, “Take your backwater, racist, gerrymandered, federal-dollar-sucking asses and GET THE FUCK OUT! Good riddance!” No US citizen should give a damn that these arrogant assholes want to isolate themselves in their parched little corner of North America. Let them snuggle up close to Mexico, who may be their only source of commerce and…well…water! (Because, let’s face it, not a single river that allows Texans to frack-the-crap out of their state originates in their state, and when New Mexico, Oklahoma, Arkansas decide turn off the spigot, Texas will dry up and blow away.)

And for those of us who remain in the good ‘ol US-of-A: How wonderful will it be to never again have to listen to a barely literate, white, ethically challenged, Texas governor lecture us? How wonderful to never again have to some piece-of-shit Texan disdainfully refer to one of us as a “Yankee” despite the fact that we come from Louisiana, or Florida, or wherever.

Keep your guns and your poverty-level ‘jobs miracle’. Never again saddle us with an idiot for president, and please, please, please don’t just play at leaving the Union. Put your money where your loud Texan mouths are…GO and be done.

Lindsey Graham Throws In The Towel

July 08, 2015 By: Kvatch Category: Elections, Politics, Snark No Comments →

Lindsey GrahamI don’t want a war, but if that’s what you want you’re going to lose it, … We’re going to sink your navy and shoot your Air Force down… We’ll leave when we’re safe, … If you’re war weary, don’t vote for me.

—  Senator Lindsey Graham, Republican Presidential Candidate

Done!

—  Kvatch

This Man is *SO* Running for President in 2016

June 11, 2014 By: Kvatch Category: Politics, Snark, Texas No Comments →

AP (via ABC News): Sen. Cruz Formally Gives up Canadian Citizenship

Canada: “Oh thank God!!!”

Rest of World: “Oh please, not another Texan!”

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again folks: Don’t elect Texans to our highest office. It’s a recipe for disaster.

Limbaugh Too Cheap To Pay For Porn

March 01, 2012 By: Kvatch Category: Humor, Politics, Snark 2 Comments →

So Miss Fluke, and the rest of you Feminazis, here’s the deal. If we are going to pay for your contraceptives, and thus pay for you to have sex. We want something for it. We want you post the videos online so we can all watch.

— Rush Limbaugh

The quote speaks for itself. Though I might add that apparently Rush doesn’t count the sex that men who’ve had insurance covered vasectomies are having as being worthy of his scrutiny. So, although Rush very obviously likes long things in his mouth he is, as they say, “all man” even when he’s acting like a prick.

‘2nd to Last Password’ You’ll Ever Need

May 05, 2011 By: Kvatch Category: Snark, Technology 3 Comments →

LastPass, the online password vault that advertises themselves as, “The last password you’ll ever need,” is basically…well there’s really no way to sugarcoat this…A BAD IDEA!

It’s one thing to keep your passwords in some kind personal ‘vault’—your file cabinet, a safety deposit box, some obscure file on your own computer. But when you rely on an online service to to do that storage function for you, you’re trusting the service itself—that it’s secure, protected, confidential, and trustworthy. You’re trusting that service’s employees. You’re trusting every potential competitor for that service, that in a takeover situation, they’ll handle your most important data the same way the original service did. But most importantly, you’re trusting the entire Internet, since such a service is really just a BIG FAT TARGET!!!

Well, the last password you’ll ever need is now really the 2nd to last password you’ll every need. LastPass got hacked.

Netflix has jumped the shark

March 27, 2011 By: Frogette Category: Commentary, Entertainment, Snark No Comments →

This is a screen shot that actually came to the Frog this week.  You recommended a bloody Shakespearean tragedy based on our having previously rented Monty Python, Battlestar Galactic and Wallace & Gromit?  Um, what?!  And I thought Amazon’s recommendation software sucked!

File this one under duh

January 06, 2011 By: Frogette Category: Snark No Comments →

A headline from today’s online media…

Elizabeth Edwards leaves out husband in will

I would have!

Drop Snooki in the ball?

December 31, 2010 By: Frogette Category: Entertainment, Snark No Comments →

I’d rather drop her on her head.  Not MTV though, they’ve arranged for their 15 min. media whore to be dropped in a ball at midnight tonight in Seaside Heights, NJ. Yup the pocket sized drunken tanning poster child will descend in a glass ball to welcome 2011.  Don’t you wish you were there for that party? Classy.

Dear Middle Class ~

December 17, 2010 By: Frogette Category: Government, Snark 2 Comments →

This morning the Obama Administration is celebrating.  They’ve passed and extension of the Bush tax cuts.  So this holiday season you, the middle class,  will be able to ‘keep more of the money in your paychecks, and help the economic recovery to continue chugging along’.  Yes, once again middle class it falls to you to spend your hard earned dollars to keep corporate American in the black.  Can you do that?  Because God knows the wealthy don’t spend any of their tax break money.  They save it.  So really it’s up to you to rescue the sinking ship that is the American economy.  Better get back to work.

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