Impure thoughts
for complex times.


Archive for the ‘Snark’

Hey look!

November 12, 2010 By: Frogette Category: Politics, Snark No Comments →

It’s another guy George Bush has “never met”.

Finally off the poop deck

November 11, 2010 By: Frogette Category: Commerce, Media, Snark 2 Comments →

That’s Carnival’s motto. Today, 3+ days after being stranded at sea without power, the captives, ahem, passengers of the Carnival Splendour are finally free. They were let off in the port of San Diego this morning and expressed great relief at the chance to get a hot meal and use a bathroom. Yes, the toilets on the Splendour went down when the generator did and stayed down for 3 solid days. I don’t know what pictures are in your mind right now, but the one in mine is just plain gross. I’m fascinated to see if this will resemble the great Jet Blue meltdown of 2007 or if Carnival can spin this hay into gold. They’ve already promised the disappointed cruisers a refund and another free cruise. Not that I’d want to get on one of their boats, but you never know…might be fun.  :-)

Brett Favre smells money

August 18, 2010 By: Frogette Category: Snark, Society No Comments →

comes out of retirementagain.  And all it took was $20 million dollars.  Who says we’re living in a bad economy?  I say we all retrain and become NFL quarterbacks.

Would you vote for this man?

August 10, 2010 By: Frogette Category: Entertainment, Politics, Snark 2 Comments →

Now that his engagement is off, this joker has announced he’s running for Mayor of Wasilla.  And…he’s working on an new reality show.  Mark your calendars, the Levi era has begun.

Perp walk

August 01, 2010 By: Frogette Category: California, Entertainment, Snark No Comments →

You know that hundreds of paparazzi are camped out in the bushes tonight near the Lynwood Correctional Facility.  You see Lindsay Lohan, former child star and all around great girl, is set to be sprung from prison tonight.  Yes, like Angelina Jolie’s dramatic 2 a.m. helicopter airlift from a French hospital with her twins, Linday’s release is being choreographed like a military campaign.  Stylists and make up artists are on high alert.  Extensions have been ordered and 6126 leggings have been delivered to the prison facility so that Lindsay can re-enter society looking like a true star and not the haggard, lost little girl that we’ve all come to expect on the cover of Star and The Enquirer.  I’m astonished by all the effort since her next stop is rehab, but then I’ve never had to resurrect my dead career at the tender age of 24.  Ah well, this is America.  By 30 she could have her big comeback.  I mean Britney Spears shaved her head and she hasn’t disappeared from the public eye yet.  Not that I wouldn’t pay to see that happen too!

File this one under, “Duh!”

July 28, 2010 By: Frogette Category: Snark, Sports 2 Comments →

Headline: New NFL locker room poster warns of head injuries

Ah you provide hours and hours of family fun.  I giggled when I saw this headline yesterday.  You don’t pay these guys millions and millions of dollars not to mess themselves up.  You pay them so they do just that.  What’s even funnier is that the New York Times threw up a shot of the poster (below).  I’m not sure there’s a guy in the NFL who could actually read this thing.  May I suggest a poster with illustrations instead?

Former BP CEO Tony Hayward gets life back, says “So long suckas!”

July 27, 2010 By: Frogette Category: Energy, Humor, Snark 3 Comments →

Headline: BP to replace CEO Hayward with American

Wow!  That’s great news, because we all know no one can handle a crisis like an American.  I’m sure the Gulf Coast is sleeping soundly tonight knowing that an American is at the helm.  After all Americans did such a great job with that Katrina clean up.  Wait, um wasn’t it the American Army Corps. of Engineers that neglected to shore up those levies anyway? Oh never mind. reports that new American CEO Robert Dudley’s, “ascension to the top slot signals the value BP places on getting the Gulf of Mexico oil disaster behind it and the importance of good relations with the U.S.”  I guess that means the guy looks good on t.v. and doesn’t say talk like an asshat in press conferences.  Style over substance baby, it’s the American way.

Tony Hayward who is slated for a position in BP’s Russian joint venture couldn’t be reached for comment for our article.  His office told us he was vacationing (and banking his $1.6 million salary?) in the Caribbean, and would be busy upon return decorating his new billion dollar Black Sea dacha.

God will forgive Mel Gibson, but will you?

July 27, 2010 By: Frogette Category: Entertainment, Religion, Snark 10 Comments →

Note: Okay I know the Frog said goodbye and that we’d quit blogging, but there’s still so much insanity in the world I just can’t!  ~ Frogette

Poor, beleaguered Mel Gibson stepped out this past weekend to brave paparazzi and go to church.  You see Mel’s a Catholic.  And that got me thinking.  This guy has basically got a “get out of jail free card”.  He can beat his ex girlfriend, shirk his child support and generally berate anyone who crosses his path.  As long as on his last day on earth he apologizes and says he is, “really, really sorry”.  Then *bing!* it’s halo time.  What’s that you say?  He might never work in this town again?  Considering he still has possession of a $14.5 million house and he built that church he went to, I think he’ll survive.  No justice.  No justice at all.

Rebranding the Iraqi war won’t make it any more popular

February 19, 2010 By: Frogette Category: Commentary, International, Snark, War 10 Comments →

The Obama Administration has just announced that since it can find no exit strategy for the war in Iraq it’s doing the next best thing, rebranding.  Yup, like Comcast-Xfinity, Operation Iraqi Freedom will now be know as Operation New Dawn.  Operation New Dawn, doesn’t it just give you a warm fuzzy?  It’s apparently set to coincide with the drawdown of troops in Iraq (I’ll hold my breath).  Military families are up in arms about the Admistration’s attempt to end a war by simply changing it’s name.  Oh and did I mention that Operation New Dawn is how the Iraqis referred to the 2004 battle for Falluja?  I don’t think they’re going to be happy when they get this memo.

Alles klar Tax Commisar

February 13, 2010 By: Frogette Category: Economics, Protest, Snark 9 Comments →

So I got this e-mail today and I had to laugh out loud.  I’ve been offered money from Nigerian Lawyers, marriage proposals from Russian woman, and um, enhancements for my “equipment”, but I’ve never been accused of making more money.  Especially not in the past year.  Dude!  You have no idea how wrong you are!

From:  Tax Commisar

Dear taxpayer,

The Federal income tax is a progressive tax, meaning that the more you earn, the higher your tax rate. Your tax rate depends not just upon your taxable income, but also upon your filing status (single, married filing jointly, etc.).

You’re in a higher tax bracket because:
– your annual income for the last tax year has increased.

Please review your annual tax report immediately at: get report

Listed on BlogShares