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Stupid McLawsPlace

June 29, 2016 By: Kvatch Category: District of Columbia, Politics, Snark No Comments →

As the DC Mayor’s Office re-engages in the, probably futile, process of trying to enfranchise its citizens through statehood, the question arises: What should the 51st state be called.

‘New Columbia’ has been suggested, but this frog doesn’t think that the name really captures the pure, viscous, indifference of the Senators and Representatives that will…never…Ever…EVER allow representation for District residents. (And lest you think that this doesn’t apply to Democrats, think again! As our starry-eyed mayor will soon find, Democrats have no more taste for DC statehood then their Republican counterparts.)

So, in honor of the masters of our congressional plantation, I suggest:

Stupid McLawsPlace

Texit: Only In My Dreams

June 25, 2016 By: Kvatch Category: Politics, Snark, Texas No Comments →

Now that the Brits have voted to exit the European Union, secessionist fools in the Great State of Texass have decided to revive the notion of Texas’ exit from The Union. But there’s a big difference between the UK’s departure from the EU and Texas’ exit from the United States…

Texit

For starters, if Texans are stupid enough to try and secede the response from their fellow citizens in the other 49 will be, “Take your backwater, racist, gerrymandered, federal-dollar-sucking asses and GET THE FUCK OUT! Good riddance!” No US citizen should give a damn that these arrogant assholes want to isolate themselves in their parched little corner of North America. Let them snuggle up close to Mexico, who may be their only source of commerce and…well…water! (Because, let’s face it, not a single river that allows Texans to frack-the-crap out of their state originates in their state, and when New Mexico, Oklahoma, Arkansas decide turn off the spigot, Texas will dry up and blow away.)

And for those of us who remain in the good ‘ol US-of-A: How wonderful will it be to never again have to listen to a barely literate, white, ethically challenged, Texas governor lecture us? How wonderful to never again have to some piece-of-shit Texan disdainfully refer to one of us as a “Yankee” despite the fact that we come from Louisiana, or Florida, or wherever.

Keep your guns and your poverty-level ‘jobs miracle’. Never again saddle us with an idiot for president, and please, please, please don’t just play at leaving the Union. Put your money where your loud Texan mouths are…GO and be done.

“Goddamn communist nigger-lover…”

March 31, 2016 By: Kvatch Category: Elections, Politics, Protest No Comments →

This the the kind of rhetoric we hear from racist, bumpkin, anti-American, Trump supporters in Wisconsin, just after they grope and then pepper spray teenage girls at point-blank range.

But let’s not screw around on this issue. We’re talking about making America great again, right? I mean…that’s what was on the t-shirt of the of the ignorant ass with the loud mouth. So here’s an America improving suggestion: Find the child-molester who groped the young woman and THROW HIM THE-FUCK IN JAIL! 5 to 10 in the state pen, accompanied by sex-offender rap would certainly go a long way to improving Wisconsin.

And as far as the loudmouth’s opinion goes…count me the-fuck in! I’ll thrown in my lot with the communist nigger-lovers any day of the goddamned week.

Pataki Needs a Muzzle

December 06, 2015 By: Kvatch Category: Politics, War No Comments →

George Pataki

We must declare war on radical Islam. @LorettaLynch I’m not edging toward violent speech, I’m declaring we kill them. Go ahead, arrest me.

—  Former New York Governor, George Pataki

Done! Now would someone actually arrest this motherf*cker for incitement to murder. Because you just know that some blinkered, right-wing, gun-toting kook is going to take this statement as an inducement to shoot up a mosque full of innocents!

—  Kvatch

Lindsey Graham Throws In The Towel

July 08, 2015 By: Kvatch Category: Elections, Politics, Snark No Comments →

Lindsey GrahamI don’t want a war, but if that’s what you want you’re going to lose it, … We’re going to sink your navy and shoot your Air Force down… We’ll leave when we’re safe, … If you’re war weary, don’t vote for me.

—  Senator Lindsey Graham, Republican Presidential Candidate

Done!

—  Kvatch

Lives Matter

December 21, 2014 By: Kvatch Category: Politics, Protest, Rights 1 Comment →

While small-minded tools like former NYC mayor Rudy Giuliani, former New York governor George Pataki, and President of the NYC Patrolman’s Benevolent Association, Pat Lynch, mouth conservative talking points laying blame for the murder of two NYPD officers on everyone…but the actual shooter, the plain facts remain:

Eric Garner: Murdered by a NYPD police officer who used an illegal chokehold…IS STILL DEAD!

John Crawford: Murdered in an Ohio Walmart by police officers who shot him for holding a legal pellet gun (an item for sale in that very store)…IS STILL DEAD!

Tamir Rice: Murdered by a rookie Cleveland police officer only two seconds after the officer arrived on the scene in his cruiser…IS STILL DEAD!

Michael Brown: Murdered by a Ferguson, Missouri police officer…IS STILL DEAD!

We know, in this country, who receives justice and who does not.

This Man is *SO* Running for President in 2016

June 11, 2014 By: Kvatch Category: Politics, Snark, Texas No Comments →

AP (via ABC News): Sen. Cruz Formally Gives up Canadian Citizenship

Canada: “Oh thank God!!!”

Rest of World: “Oh please, not another Texan!”

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again folks: Don’t elect Texans to our highest office. It’s a recipe for disaster.

Tea Party: “I’m not dead yet.”

June 11, 2014 By: Kvatch Category: Elections, Politics, Virginia No Comments →

…as Eric Cantor has discovered, and all we have to say here at Ragebot is: It couldn’t have happened to a bigger asshole.

UPDATE

Cantor’s primary opponent, Randolph-Macon College economics professor David Brat, sounds like an authentic wacko. Among the questionable theories this Tea Party nobody champions, the moral superiority of capitalism, ranks high. Get that? Not economic superiority…moral superiority. And that’s not all. Dr. Brat has a warning for us heretics who don’t find the “moral righteousness of capitalism” to be in line with our values: Get on board, lest this lack of conviction bring about the return of a ‘Hitler’.

You have to read the article because you just can’t make this stuff up. But I say: Brat for President! Let’s get a robust debate going between future Representative Brat–I mean, after all, no Democrat is going to win Cantor’s central Virginia district–and Senator Cruz!

“Bitch set me up.”

March 21, 2014 By: Kvatch Category: District of Columbia, Government, Politics 1 Comment →

Gray said he won’t resign from office if he’s charged in connection with the 2010 shadow campaign to get him elected.

The decades pass. The faces change, but the message remains the same.

A 47%’er Speaks

September 18, 2012 By: Kvatch Category: Commentary, Elections, Politics No Comments →

In conflating those who, “…will vote for Obama no matter what,” with that segment of Americans who pay no taxes—mostly people who are so desperately poor that further taxation would be an insult—Romney demonstrates that he is so politically tone-deaf, so monstrously out of touch, so brazenly contemptuous of those who don’t support him—regardless of their reasons—that a vote for this dangerous, small-minded, creature of privilege is a waste of a ballot.

I’m not wealthy like Mitt, though in middle-age I’ve made it into the 5% and stand a chance of making it into the 2% by the time I retire. Thus, I’m the perfect demographic example of a potential swing voter, but I’ll be voting for Obama…no matter what!

You know what that makes me, at least to ‘Mitt the Sh*t’ Romney? A freeloader—a person who won’t take personal responsibility for my life. This, despite the fact that I’ve been continuously employed for almost 30 years, with the only breaks being those of my own choosing…well almost all.

I have been laid off twice, and one of those times it was because a parasite like Romney saw an opportunity to make a whole lot of fat easy cash from the labor of others. I suppose that makes me one of Romney’s ‘victims’.

I have taken unemployment insurance exactly once in my life, for 4 months, and I was damn glad it was available, but in Mitt’s world I’m, “…dependent on government”.

As a percentage of income, I pay way, Way, WAY more taxes than Mitt Romney, always have and always will. Mitt Romney, whose budget wrecking policies will literally crush this nation under debt, can afford to talk tough to us 47%’ers. With $240M in the bank and a privileged life free of budgetary anxiety, he has never had to pay his own way, and he can’t conceptualize that government might have to as well.

Arguably, I have done more good in my life and career than Mitt Romney will ever do in his because at least I care about my country, my neighbors, my family, and those less fortunate than myself. The only people Mitt Romney cares about are those more fortunate than himself, and if he becomes the President, I guaran-f*cking-tee he’s going to prove it.

So F*CK YOU MITT ROMNEY!!! Much as I think Barack Obama has been a waste as our President, you never had any more than the slimmest chance of getting my vote. Now? You and you’re whole so-called conservative, screw-the-99%, tea-bagging, cabal of addled dimwit Rethuglican leeches have got no chance.

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