Impure thoughts
for complex times.

Search:  

Archive for January, 2009

Boxer’s Suspension Recalls Sad Story of Billy Collins

January 31, 2009 By: Station Agent Category: Sports 7 Comments →

Boxer Antonio Margarito had his license suspended Wednesday by the California State Athletic Commission because a plaster-like substance was found under the boxer’s hand wraps before his loss last weekend to “Sugar” Shane Mosley. Thankfully it was found before the fight. The incident is reminiscent of the sad story of Billy Collins and Luis Resto.

In April of 2008, former welterweight boxer Luis Resto admitted that the tape used to wrap his hands before mauling Billy Collins in a ten-round bout held in the summer of 1983 had been soaked in plaster or Paris. It was previously known that Resto’s gloves had been meddled with as well; each glove had two inches of padding removed.

In 1986, Resto and his trainer were convicted of assault and both men served 2 and a half years in prison. Resto never boxed again.

The damage to Collins was severe and likely contributed to his death:

During the fight Collins had suffered a torn iris and permanently blurred vision, which prevented him from boxing again. After losing two jobs in a short time after the fight he began smoking marijuana and drinking heavily. His violent mood swings threatened his marriage. Finally, on March 6, 1984, he crashed his car into a culvert near his home in Antioch, Tennessee; a suburb of Nashville. He was killed on impact. Many commentators, as well as Collins’ family, believe that the loss of his livelihood broke him psychologically.[1]

Collins loss to Resto was later thrown out and Collins died undefeated, 14-0.

Resto told the sad tale of his despicable deed to Collins’ widow in 2007, during the filming of a documentary called Cornered (trailer) about the fight. “During the fight, Billy told [his father and trainer Billy Collins Sr.] it felt like he was getting hit with rocks,” she said. “Now we know he really was getting hit with rocks. It was that much worse.”

“My boy would have been world champion. He would have been great,” Collins’ father later told The Tennessean. “I fought it for 20 years and couldn’t beat the system. I just gave up on it. It shoulda been an open and shut case, but there was no justice. It’s still hounding me.”

iNews Friday, 1/30/2009

January 30, 2009 By: ERITAS News Service Category: Government, Humor, Politics, Satire 1 Comment →

From the iNews 9000 wi-fi headline translator —

Headline: Bahamas senator accused in Travolta plot resigns
Translation: “Amateur,” sneers Blagojevich

Headline: US envoy to meet Palestinian head
Translation: Rest of body under yards of rubble, will miss meeting

Headline: Obama envoy meets Palestinian leaders in West Bank
Translation: “NOW you show up; everyone’s gone home”

Headline: Blagojevich asks to make argument at Senate trial
Translation: “This isn’t an argument, it’s just contradiction” “No it isn’t!” “Yes it is!”

Headline: Urine samples said to link Barry Bonds to steroids
Translation: True urine connoisseurs call it ‘ster-oir’

Headline: Fannie Mae Contractor Indicted For Logic Bomb
Translation: Wall Street becomes Gitmo of Banking – will house convicted mortgage Logic Bombers

Headline: Biden says stimulus bill to attract Republicans
Translation: Sen. Vitter wants stimulus bill to talk dirty to him first

Headline: Hundreds of thousands protest in France
Translation: French declare – Steve Martin as Inspector Clouseau “c’est la merde”

Headline: Mike Sweeney thrilled to join Mariners
Translation: Seattle will be a great place for him to recover from whatever undiagnosed season-ending injury he has

Headline: Candidate Linked to Obama Parody Song Leaves Race for GOP Chairman
Translation: As if by… Magic?

Headline: Republicans prepare to launch offensive against Democrats
Translation: Republicans… offensive… Ehhhh, I got nothin’

Headline: Alaskans brace for volcanic eruption
Translation: Gov. Palin treated for indigestion after judging chili cook-off

The weirdest side effect of a bad economy

January 29, 2009 By: Frogette Category: Commentary, Economics, Protest 6 Comments →

If you read the news these days you know that things in the US are bad. Crime is up, jobs are being lost at a distressing rate, and murder/suicides are becoming a daily occurrence. The spiraling economy seems to be bringing out the worst in some people. To whit ~ men suddenly want to reclaim body parts from their exes. Yes, you read that right. There was a big story a few weeks about a New York man who was suing his ex wife to get back a kidney he donated to her. By his estimate the organ was worth $1.5 million. That, and a bucket-load of free publicity. I thought at the time that it was an isolated incident. Then I found this article about a man who tried to cut the implants from his girlfriend’s body after she broke up with him in 2006. This is the ugly side of the “ownership society”. “I bought those implants, and they’re mine. I’m going to take them back!” I understand wanting ‘your things’ back after a break up, but hey stick to DVDs. These are body parts, you can’t just have them removed because she doesn’t love you any more. We as women used to worry about giving the engagement ring back after a break up. This is a whole new level of retribution.

Bob Woodward preferred over Massengill, Summer’s Eve – Rumormongering called astringent, refreshing

January 28, 2009 By: ERITAS News Service Category: Humor, Media, Politics, Satire No Comments →

Veteran journalist Bob Woodward may become known for more than being a muckraker, if the personal health products industry is able to capitalize on the startling results of a scientific study into internal feminine hygiene washes.

Woodward, a Washington Post Associate Editor, was preferred by 323, or 64%, of the 506 women participating in the study by the National Alliance for Internal Research (NAIR), a feminine products trade group.

The study surveyed women about their normal hygiene regimens, and then replaced the internal feminine hygiene wash they normally use with a video of Woodward alluding to unspecified, yet-to-be disclosed scandals in the Obama administration.

“Wow, what a douche,” study participant Jane F. said after watching the video.

“Woodward works just as well as Massengill, old-fashioned vinegar and water, or even Senator McCain’s views on the economic stimulus package,” she said.

This opinion was echoed by Melinda K., another study participant, who prefers Summer’s Eve. “I’d have to say Bob Woodward’s tabloid-style rumormongering leaves me feeling refreshed,” said Melinda, who went on to say that she would cleanse with Woodward’s reporting all the time if fragrances are added.

NAIR spokesman Max E. Wing said his organization is excited at the prospect of making the study’s findings available to its members, which include Proctor and Gamble, Johnson and Johnson, and the Heritage Foundation. All hope to offer new Bob Woodward-based douches by this fall.

Inaugural Observations – No Longer The Enemy

January 26, 2009 By: Kvatch Category: California, Elections, Government 6 Comments →

Say what you will about the Obama administration in these early days, it certainly is nice to once again have a friend in the Oval Office.

From suing California over power-plant emission’s rules; to ordering FERC to withhold critical data that would have helped California recoup billions stolen by energy-traders who gamed our electricity system; to reversing 30 years of stricter emission standards, Bu$hCo made it a personal mission to f*ck this state. And why? Because our 55 electoral votes were never in play. No amount of campaigning was going to swing a state, that hasn’t voted Republican since Bush’s father ran against Michael Dukakas, to the Republican column.

Hell, even as he was leaving office, Bush felt it necessary to deliver one final “F*CK YOU!” in the form of a rule that would have opened 10’s of thousands of square miles of California coast to offshore oil drilling. Never mind that Californians have been of one mind on this issue for decades. Never mind that the Obama administration would likely reverse the order. Never mind that the amount of oil we’re talking about is a proverbial ‘drop in the barrel’ of our energy dependence. That’s not relevant for a President that didn’t have a problem with turning the residents of his most populous state, a state with an economy bigger than most nations, into his personal nemesis.

GOP strips presidential vocabulary from bill – Boehner cries

January 26, 2009 By: ERITAS News Service Category: Economics, Elections, Government, Humor, International, Politics, Satire 5 Comments →

The Obama administration suffered a setback today, when Congressional Republicans succeeded in stripping reauthorization for new Presidential vocabulary from a Fiscal Year 2009 Federal supplemental budget bill.

House Minority leader John Boehner of Ohio said the victory sets the tone for the GOP caucus agenda in the 111th Congress.

“President Obama’s extravagant wordiness is the wrong message to send in these times of belt-tightening,” said a visibly emotional Boehner.

“Republicans oppose the new administration’s uneconomical use of nouns, verbs and modifiers. When the American people voted for change, they didn’t mean a government that started wasting words like a drunken Shakespearean actor,” Boehner said.

“They want their president to be a man of few words. People were always saying to me that President Bush should talk less.”

Boehner - A lot of chopped onions went into legislative win.

Boehner - A lot of chopped onions went into that press statement.

“We know what the people want, and it’s small words, limited vocabulary, and vague and undetailed pronouncements,” he said. Overcome with tears, aides draped Boehner’s shoulders in a velvet cape, and helped him to the House cloak room to rest.

A snap poll conducted by pollster Stan Dardeviasian Research showed the GOP position on Obama’s vocabulary to be popular among the party’s largely monosyllabic base.

Word came almost immediately from the White House that President Obama accepted the loss of new vocabulary in the budget, and would not resubmit the proposal this year.

However, Press Secretary Robert Gibbs told reporters the president’s vocabulary would not be affected.

“There is a huge accumulated surplus of unused presidential vocabulary left over from the previous administration, enough to last decades,” Gibbs said.

Inaugural Observations – Not A Savior

January 25, 2009 By: Kvatch Category: Elections, Politics 9 Comments →

I’ve heard a lot of my bloggy brethren lately saying that Bush’s departure is, “…the end of our long national nightmare.”

I only have one thing to say on this:  President Obama is not a savior and those people who think he is haven’t really experienced the ‘long national nightmare’ yet.  That will come in the next 8 years when Democrats prove unable (unwilling?) to undo much of the damage done during Bush’s presidency.

Obama has made a good start, but already his administration has demonstrated support for Bu$hCo’s “Wiretap any American anytime we want,” policy. Already congressional Democrats are bleating about how they need to reign in the presidency, something they never dared to utter when Bush was in office.

Bush was bad, but a continuation of the Democrats’ pathetic impotence, could well be worse.

It’s all white, its Australia Day

January 25, 2009 By: Cartledge Category: Uncategorized 2 Comments →

Australia Day Jan 26; also the end of our long summer holiday, but the actual choice of date is under severe strain. I’ve just been prowling the local beaches enhancing my skin colour the past few days, oblivious to the growing furore.

First claims

First claims

“Until we settle on an alternative date for Australia Day, Aboriginal people will always feel excluded … January 26 was invasion day, the beginning of the philosophy of terra nullius – an unoccupied Australia.” Bev Manton, chairwoman of the NSW Aboriginal Land Council

There are two sides to this sort of issue:
1) The vast majority of Aboriginals are mixed blood now, not their fault or mine, but when they point the finger it must include their own forebears.

2) It does seem a big stretch to maintain the date of European settlement as an inclusive national day of celebration.

Some of us are not inclined to invest dates with any great significance, and I suspect this one is more convenience than emotional. To most Aussies it’s just another long weekend.

Most days have issues for those engaged with the day thing so I can’t even imagine a solution. In the end I’m inclined to think there are more pressing issues.

Inaugural observations – “No more cracker white guys”

January 24, 2009 By: Frogette Category: Commentary, Politics 5 Comments →

As I watched the inauguration I noticed the networks cutting away again and again to show all of the 43 presidents who have preceded Barack Obama. Crusty old white guys. All of them. Sure as he was sworn in Obama was surrounded by fat, florid, white men, but to me that just made him stand out more. One of these things is not like the others, and I couldn’t be more proud. Finally a president who represents the real America. He’s the immigrant dream, the melting pot. I’m glad to finally see a little diversity. As Catherine would say, “Change is good”.

Inaugural Observations – Generation Jones

January 24, 2009 By: Kvatch Category: Elections, Personal 12 Comments →

I’ve been a boomer most of my life—born in 1964, often recognized as the last year of the boomer generation But now it seems that those of us born between 1954/55 and 1964 are being reclassified as ‘Generation Jones,’ a wedge between the Boomers and the X’ers, I suppose.

Question: When did it become important to break our little group away from the Boomers?
Answer: When someone discovered that our new president was born in 1961.

Listed on BlogShares