I’d rather drop her on her head.  Not MTV though, they’ve arranged for their 15 min. media whore to be dropped in a ball at midnight tonight in Seaside Heights, NJ. Yup the pocket sized drunken tanning poster child will descend in a glass ball to welcome 2011.  Don’t you wish you were there for that party? Classy.

New York is looking very Day After Tomorrow today…you think Jake Gyllenhaal will come to the rescue?

So the Frog and I stupidly had to make a trip to the mall today. Yes, the day after Christmas. You see we’re having company this week and we’re still feathering our nest as it were. Needed bedding for our honored guests, so we thought Macy’s! There’s a sale and we’ll get everything 50% off. Well us and 10,000 other humans all apparently had that idea imprinted us on us simultaneously. The lines were insane and parking, well I’ve seen raptors hunt with less intensity than Americans looking for parking. Fortunately we were focused and were in and out like an elite military team. We got what we needed and went out out to lunch. It’s the only way to wind down from the insanity that is the post-holiday Apple Store scrum. And how was your holiday?

In the weirdest news headline of the week country singer Shania Twain announced her engagement to Frederic Thiebaud.  Not that unusual, right?  Until you realize that Mr. Thiebaud is the ex-husband of the woman that Shania’s ex-husband, Mutt Lange, left her for.  Did you follow that?  Shania’s creepy ex cheated on her with Thiebaud’s ex wife Marie-Anne.  Seems Shania and Thiebaud fell into each others arms as their marriages dissolved, and now are blissfully engaged to tie the knot themselves.  I swear if I hadn’t read this on HuffPo I’d think it was a pitch for a new ABC series.  Surreal!  I wonder if the exes are invited to the wedding.

A Christmas carol from the Frogs:

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
This year I can’t be bothered;
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
I really can’t be bothered;
Oh sure I’d like to have a tree,
But not without delivery.
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
I really can’t be bothered!

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
You’re fresh but too expensive!
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
My search has been extensive!
From lot to lot I seek a tree,
that won’t increase my misery.
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
You’re just too damned much bother!

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Where shall I place these presents?
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Where can I place these presents?
On a table or a chair,
It’s not the same though let’s be fair.
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
You’re just too damned much bother!”

Just when you were about to start your New Year’s diet word comes from CBS that Al Qaeda is hatching a plot to poison your croutons.  I swear it’s either a slow news day or they are seriously making this up.  I think we’ve fallen into the paranoia abyss people.  You really should be more worried about U.S. corporations poisoning your food “by accident” as they’ve done numerous times in the last few years.  E. Coli, salmonella, and listeria have all been circulated by our Food Industrial Complex.  While the Food Safety Bill passed the Senate vote this past weekend, we’ve still got a long way to go before we are truly safe.  Besides, let’s face it if you’ve seen how fat Americans are becoming you already know we’re not eating salads.

Soldiers won’t be popping out of the proverbial closet any time soon.  You see, the Pentagon doesn’t want them shouting their now legally protected sexual orientation from the rooftops. According to Defense Secretary Gates they need time to create a deliberate process, and they must first conduct a study to determine that repealing the law won’t impair the ability of troops out there fighting.  While I don’t personally see how it could, I understand that at the end of the day the Pentagon is just playing for time.  Maybe they have a lawsuit up their sleeves or maybe the old generals just aren’t ready for the out and proud.  Or maybe, just maybe this is all simply political theater.  Time will tell.

House boos plan to work next week

Flesh-eating zombies hit Havana streets

Vending machine spits out gold bars and coins

70 Year Old Woman Robs Bank

And one really great quote:

Man if other democrats think you caved you really caved!

~ Seth Meyers, Saturday Night Live