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Archive for April, 2013

Holier Than Thou

April 05, 2013 By: Kvatch Category: Religion 1 Comment →

Pope Francis on Friday urged Vatican disciplinarians to act “with determination” against sexual abuse committed by members of the Catholic clergy, the Holy See said in a statement, the pope’s first public pronouncement on the issue.

You know, despite the fact that his conservative bona-fides are unimpeachable, I like this new Pope. I mean…it’s hard not to like a man with the common touch—who blesses the seeing-eye dog of a blind Italian reporter and who washes the feet of Muslim women in a spirit of community and fellowship.

But—and this is a big but—nobody has more power to enforce his (God’s?) will than Il Papa. So if the Pope wants to get rid of sexual abuse in the Catholic clergy, he doesn’t need to ask. The Catholic Church is not a group of friends. He doesn’t need to urge or persuade. The Catholic Church is not a democracy. All he needs to do is kick ass and take names:

“But your holiness, it is difficult to identi—”

“Stop right there! You are excommunicated! Next.”

“Your holiness, we are trying to find ways of dealin—”

“And you! You’re excommunicated!”

“But your Holine—”

“Not another word! Your eternal soul is condemned to hellfire.”

“Next!”

You see. It’s easy, and Francis shouldn’t be asking. He should be telling. At least that’s what he should be doing if he wants to save Holy Mother Church.

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