Baghdad is quiet but tense Thursday morning, one day after President Bush forgot his and Iraq’s fifth anniversary.

“He claimed he wanted to do something spontaneous and romantic, but give me a break,” said Iraq. “Showing up late with Cheney and McCain so they can watch spring training baseball isn’t spontaneous, it’s insensitive,” Iraq said.

“As for romantic, he obviously has no idea what romantic is.” Iraq is refusing to speak to Bush “until he shows he’s sorry for what he did.”

Last night Bush initially claimed he had merely tried to plan an informal celebration. “The only reason Cheney and McCain were there was to deliver the giant submarine sandwich,” Bush told Reuters. “I guess Iraq wanted me to do something more conventional.”

But this morning Bush admitted in a radio interview that he had let the anniversary slip his mind.

“I am so busted,” Bush told The Adam Carolla Show. Carolla convinced Bush to send Iraq flowers, and suggested a website offering discount bouquet shipments if the promotional code ADAM is used.

However, Iraq was not mollified. “We all know what’s going on here,” Iraq said. “What’s going on here is that he’d rather be with someone else. Pakistan and Syria have been texting me that they’ve seen Bush at the clubs with Afghanistan and Iran.”

“If he wants this relationship to work, Bush needs to stop getting preoccupied with other things, and get back to occupying me,” Iraq said.