iNews Friday, 12/4/2009
December 04, 2009 By: ERITAS News Service Category: Humor, Media, Politics, Satire, Society
A sampling of this week’s output from the iNews 9000 Turbo wi-fi headline translator—
Headline: European Union celebrates first day of Lisbon Treaty
Translation: Carrie Prejean opposes “pro-Lisbian” EU
Headline: Pollard enraged by Schalit deal, urges PM to kill Hamas prisoners
Translation: Israel grants inmates right to publicist
Headline: Tiger Woods regrets ‘transgressions’
Translation: Woods regrets flunking evasive-driving course
Headline: More women claim affairs with Tiger?
Translation: Wife finds Tiger’s score card
Headline: Comcast announces deal for control of NBC Universal
Translation: Comcast Sheinhardt Universal
Headline: Obama’s West Point War Speech: A Quick Response
Translation: A Cadet Joe Wilson screamed “You lie!”
Headline: More alleged mistresses discovered in Woods scandal
Translation: Tiger Woods has saved or created 150,000 mistress jobs
Headline: Actress Meredith Baxter reveals she is a lesbian
Translation: Carrie Prejean – “Elyse Keaton is Portuguese?
ERITAS: Palin backs Swiss vote – Supports ban on “missile-shaped Muslim churches”
December 4th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
I’m disheartened to see that, like most of the MSM, Tiger Woods and the Comcast deal get higher billing than the police shootings in Washington.
December 4th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
@1
Not sure I agree. Coverage of Lakewood was so extensive that we’re actually seeing headlines about the Huckabee linkage.
Tigergate is disturbingly pervasive though. And why is it that as soon as a woman (eg Ms. Grubbs) is linked to anything gossipy, the next thing is a driftnet for nude photos? How is that newsworthy or relevant?
And poor Meredith Baxter — big frakking whup.
December 6th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Wife finds Tiger’s score card…
Bogey
Bogey
Double-bogey
Bogey…
December 6th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Tiger discovered to have passel of kittens hidden away. :-)