Listen…and understand! The Frogette is out there. She can’t be bargained with! She can’t be reasoned with! She doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And she absolutely will not stop, EVER, until the blog is hers!
— Kvatch Reese
Category Archives: Blogging
Ragenot
5 years ago yesterday, a frustrated amphibian—who hadn’t even really developed his online persona yet—wrote the first of what would eventually become almost 1500 posts for a blog called Blognonymous. Then, when that venue seemed to have worn itself out, that same amphibian switched to a new blog, this blog, and did another 300 or so posts along with a talented crew of malcontents.
Many things have changed since then. My writing has improved…a lot. I’ve made a bit of money from ads, I’ve developed a following on Flicker and in the Blogsphere for my political paste-ups, I started a movement, I’ve made some friends…and a whole bunch-o-enemies. The Frogette and I pulled up our lily-pad and took it on the road, which BTW we’re still doing having traveled 12,000 miles (in three countries) since last October. Unfortunately, what has not changed is the corrosive nature of our government and and the evil, greedy, corporate drones who laughingly refer to themselves as “public servants”. We know who runs this country, and if we were at all unsure before the Obama Administration took over from those idiot crooks in Bu$hCo, we can be sure now since our new president has proven himself to be just as much a fluffer for Goldman Sachs as his predecessor was.
I’d like to believe that in my own small way I pushed back against the powers that be, maybe bloodied a few noses, pissed off some important people, but really…that’s just bullshit posturing and wishful thinking. I could go on shouting at the wall, but the plain fact is that I’m getting older and need to focus on other stuff…like survival…like protecting what little the Frogette and I have managed to scrape together. And perhaps, this is just what those f*ckers in power want: A populace so afraid, so harried and overwrought that they can’t do sh*t about the wholesale looting of what’s left of the US middle-class.
So I guess what I’m saying is that I surrender. 5 years is enough, and I’m through. Perhaps I’ll blog again. Perhaps not. I guess we’ll see, but I can’t leave this stage, even temporarily, without mentioning a few bloggers who have touched my life:
The Ragebot Crew: The Station Agent, Mr_Blog, Cartledge, and most especially my dear Frogette!
All the bloggers that were there in the beginning, and who gave me comments and clicks in the early days: The Comandante, Blogenfreude, Fred, Peacechick Mary, Neil Shakespeare, Windspike, Enigma, Polishifter, Lily Branford, Snave, Lew Scannon, and Rex Kramer
The Barbarians: Tom Hilton, Deb, Generik, and everyone else in San Francisco.
All in all, I don’t regret a single word written nor the time I spent doing the writing. It was a great experience, and I hope that it had some value. I appreciate every comment, every click, every voice, and every single person who stopped by.
Thanks…and farewell.
We shall rage again
Change is in the air around Ragebot’s offices in palatial Ragebot Tower, management will be along in a few days to explain what that’s about. In the meantime, a few summative words from here at the fake news desk.
You’ve heard of historical fiction. Fake news is current events fiction. In some ways I chose this genre because it’s easier than real news, and easier than real blogging as well. But for me fake news is the best way within my limited abilities to say something (hopefully) unique and interesting about the state of the world.
Usually the subtext running through my little stories expresses some sort of anger or disgust at something in the news, albeit hidden under jokes and lame puns. I will be forever grateful to the peripatetic Kvatch for recognizing the rage in my writing, and inviting me to join his team.
It has been a great honor to share this corner of the Web with a terrific and talented crew — Kvatch, Frogette, Cartledge (and you too, Station Agent). May Kvatch see fit to get the band back together soon.
Until then I hope Ragebot readers who enjoy my little stories will follow me back to my home base at the Wiseline Institute & Center For The Secular Humorism. And of course fans of the iNews9000 Turbo Wi-Fi Headline Translator will still be able to follow it at Twitter — just go there and search for “inews9k“.
Until we meet again, Ragebotistas.
Long lines mean Soviet-style shortages are here, Tea Party blogger says
President Obama is creating an economic disaster, a prominent Tea Party activist said today.
“Long lines for bread, clothing and toilet paper were common in the Soviet Union and now we’re seeing the same sort of thing here — long Apple Store lines means socialism has arrived,” movement leader Mike Vanderfrandle wrote in his well-known blog Americans Seeing Socialism Everywhere in Society (A.S.S.E.S.).
Interviewed by PC Üser Alles magazine, Vanderfrandle cited recent occurrences of long store lines in many parts of the country as evidence of shortages.
Vanderfrandle said he had a realization when he saw TV news coverage of customers waiting all night outside Apple Stores for the introduction of the company’s highly anticipated iPad tablet computer.
“I realized it had to have been caused by the Obama Administration’s tax and health care policies,” said Vanderfrandle, “a socialist, big-government fascist conspiracy against us in the Tea Party who only learned to type with two fingers.”
Explaining that he currently dictates his blog to a third grade student who can type, Vanderfrandle said a touchscreen computer would make A.S.S.E.S. and other right-wing bloggers more self-reliant. “An iPad just needs one finger to use, so obviously the Democrat Party has to prevent us from getting our hands on iPads,” he said.
Vanderfrandle doesn’t believe claims that lines at Apple Stores are long only because the iPad is so popular. “If it’s so popular why didn’t they simply make more of them in the first place? No, it can’t be a coincidence that this so-called shortage happened right after passage of Obamacare.”
And has Vanderfrandle ordered an iPad himself?
“Are you crazy? I’m on Social Security disability and Food Stamps, I can’t afford an iPad.”
In a closely related story, Vanderfrandle has blogged that all Tea Party bloggers should get iPads to replace their harder to use PCs. “Break Dell, Gateway, and HP! Break their Windows 7. Break them NOW. Reboot and break them again,” he wrote.
Exit Stage Left
A couple of weeks ago I promised that the ‘other shoe would drop’ sometime before the end of the month. Well…
The California experiment is over. What began with the Frogette saying, “I start a new job in San Francisco in July [1996]. Figure out how to get your little green ass out there,” has ended with the sale of our condo in preparation for the mother of all roadtrips.
Yes, on October 18th, these two frogs will take the mess that has become their lives on the road, around America, overseas…traveling until they decide they want to stop, or until the United States stops f*cking around and fixes the economy and the health-care situation, whichever comes first.
Have you ever said to yourself, “I’d like to lift a beer with Kvatch,” or “That Frogette…I want her at my next dinner party.” Well now is your chance! Let us know, and we’ll do our best to get to your neck of the woods for a pow-wow.
Be happy for us (really, it’s the opportunity of a lifetime); Wish us luck; Let us know you’d like to meet; But most of all stay tuned as ‘Casa de las Ranas’ hits the road.
We Get Mail
Though we a lot of strange mail here at Casa de las Ranas, this one is stranger than most. Nonetheless, our new pen pal seems so earnest that we’ve included our reply at the end.
Dear Sir/Madam,
It is our utmost delight to approach you with this composition. We are a local Gold Mining based in Burkina-Faso Northern part and we are interested in contacting you for been our Business-Partner. Our organization started its operation for the past seven years and had been doing very well without any debt, which we hope of making more steps ahead for future reasons.
We have 18 and 22 and 24plus carats Dust Gold, powder and Rock Gold also white Gold, we will be very glad if you are to be our representative in your Continent where by any amount of our goods you want will be shipped to you main while you will have your percentage in any transaction inspire by you.
Our present rate is 75-100 kilos per month we believe this is good for a starting between us, We can also give you the better offer of selling our prices are negotiable, its depend on how you want it to be done, since both of us are in search of profits and life term relationship.
We are ready to ship to you any quantity of our goods you demanded for, kindly alert us when your mind is made up concern our proposal to you also when the shipment will be take place as soon as possible. If possible you can come for a visit to our mining gold site, write back soon so that we can execute this transaction with sincerity.
Looking forward to hear from you and contact me on this e-mail address:
modimesi.g@gmail.com
Managing Director,
Mr. Modimesi,
I be amphibian have fewerest brain cell than most human, suckers of finger, and slime. Bad partners we could make, and so I must rejecting you most general proposal.
Kindly Regardingness,
Kvatch
Creature from the deep
I’m certain Frogette has warned Kvatch about what happens when you don’t clean up that mess in the corner: One day something will crawl out of it – and here I am!
Here I am house sitting, with access to subversive web sites and wondering if I should not be informing on my host for the choice of server. I swore and vowed never to use Telstra, the only ISP allowing access to Ragebot (for reasons other than access); but hey! I’m just a visitor and have no choice.
Against all odds; a national government which takes exception to Ragebot and a range of other web publishers, and on an old laptop which boasts 64 mg of ram and bugger all other resources, even ODing on Open Office – but here I am boys and girls from the dark side of politics.
Given that the Aussie Government have pretty much blocked access to the site I guess I could have a field day calling them a bunch of technologically illiterate morons. At least they aren’t subjected to all you American political subversives, even if kiddie protection is the stated aim.
I have, by the way, been quite vocal on the issue of web censorship downunder, though I suspect my mail server has a block on it as well as I have had not one response. Where is Orwell when you need him?
American idiot
So I read a blurb in The Week magazine about celebrities hiring ghost writers to compose their “tweets” on Twitter. Seriously. Doesn’t that make us the laziest, stupidest group of people on the planet? If you can’t even be bothered to write a one liner mini-blog post shouldn’t you just give up and stay off Twitter? I know you probably don’t believe me, but this is real. Apparently Britney Spears, 50 Cent and even Ron Paul have all copped to having Twitter ghostwriters. Clearly we are doomed.
Fear Not McCainiacs…
…There’s a Poll Out There for You
A blogger named Brian at The Conservative Edge writes:
According to a story on CBS online, Barak Obama has lost five points nationally in less than one week. In a poll CBS released last Wednesday, before Sarah Palin’s lopsided defeat of Lyin Joe Biden in their debate last Thursday night, Obama was up by 9 points.
In the poll released today, Obama lead McCain by four points. The likely voters number was even better for McCain showing a 48-45 lead for Obama, which was within the margin of error for a dead heat.
See, one poll is all you need to cheer up the die-hards. Sarah Palin bringing back the moldy old kitchen sink lines of attack from the Spring is all it takes. And this poll is in the margin of error too, so it’s not just a six point bump. Oh no, we’re all tied up now.
Hang in there Brian. It’ll all be over soon. And don’t read those other polls, my friend. It’ll just bring you down.
Global Blogging Arrests Triple
American bloggers have it pretty easy compared to the perils that freedom-loving bloggers in more repressive countries face. The number of blogging arrests world-wide tripled last year. Egypt, Iran and China account for more than half of all blogging arrests.
Jane Novak at Armies of Liberation blogs regularly about the case of online journalist Abdul-Karim al-Khaiwani, who received a six-year jail sentence from the Yemeni government last week. Her reporting has really pissed off the Yemeni government, and they have banned her blog in that country.
Al-Khaiwani (pictured), a pro-democracy journalist and activist was convicted by a Yemeni court for conspiring with anti-government rebels, a ridiculous charge that Novak and others have soundly refuted.
Frontline Defenders has more on al-Khaiwani:
Charges of insulting the president and “demoralising the military” as well as allegations that he had links with an al-Houthi terrorist cell had been brought against Abdul-Karim al-Khaiwani based on articles written about the Sa’ada war in Yemen.
The newspaper for which Abdul-Karim al-Khaiwani works has been closed and his website has been blocked. His family have also been subject to physical abuse and threats. In 2004, he was sentenced to one year’s imprisonment for supporting Hussain Badr al-Din al-Huthi, a cleric from the Zaidi community. On 20 June 2007, he was arrested at his home for allegedly having ties with an al-Houthi terrorist cell. According to reports, these accusations were fabricated. Abdul-Karim al-Khaiwani has previously reported on human rights violations against the Zaidi community and those suspected of having links to al-Houthi. On 27 August 2007, after having been released, Abdul-Karim al-Khaiwani was abducted and tortured by a gang of armed men. His family have also been subject to physical abuse and threats.
(more)
In Singapore on Monday a U.S. citizen named Gopalan Nair was charged with insulting a judge because he wrote on his blog that the judge was “prostituting herself during the entire proceedings, by being nothing more than an employee of Mr Lee Kuan Yew and his son and carrying out their orders”. Nair faces one year in prison and a fine.
The whole NSA wiretapping deal is a pisser, and the Bush administration are horrendous by American standards, but imagine the sentences some American bloggers would face if we had to answer to the Singaporean government.