iNews Friday – 1/23/2009

From the iNews 9000 wi-fi headline translator —

Headline: National Zoo’s Pandas Try Mating
Translation: But won’t marry until Prop. 8 is repealed

Headline: A Historic Inauguration Draws Throngs To the Mall
Translation: Clarence Thomas disappointed there were no thongs at the Mall

Headline: Perino passed out boxes of Bush M&Ms in the West Wing
Translation: Bush thrilled to receive “special” W&Ws candy tribute

Headline: Zero Arrests During Obama Inaugural
Translation: “Obama already soft on crime,” Chris Wallace reports

Headline: Oath Is Administered Once Again
Translation: In administers Roberts again Obama swears

Headline: Obama’s first day – Gitmo, Gaza, ethics
Translation: “Obama is too busy” say right wing bloggers – Falling behind typing with two fingers

Headline: Housekeeper and Taxes Are Said to Derail Kennedy’s Bid
Translation: “Kennedys haven’t given enough to the country,” critics say

Headline: Sarah Palin in book deal
Translation: “A Guide to Prepositions and the Run-On Sentence” preemptively banned from libraries, journalism schools

Headline: Microsoft Slashes Jobs as Sales Fall
Translation: Steve Jobs will make full recovery – Zune still lame

Headline: Obama shuts network of CIA ‘ghost prisons’
Translation: Congress to investigate Agency officials Venkmann, Stantz, Spengler, Zeddmore

Inaugural observations – Bliss

You’ve got to love a man who loves his wife. You want to talk “Family Values” America, this is it. Barack and Michelle Obama strike me as a couple deeply in love. I mean, look at the joy on that man’s face! The Clintons didn’t have it, the Bushes didn’t have it. I haven’t seen this much love since Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter occupied the White House.

Inaugural Observations – No Longer Invisible

Yes, the inaugural address had more references to ‘God’ than the Old Testament has ‘begats’, but buried within all that holiness was this:

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers.

Never mentioned before—may not be mentioned again in my lifetime—but at least for now we have a president that doesn’t consider 1 of every 8 Americans to be immoral, reprehensible, and unworthy of acknowledgment.

Inaugural Observations – Happiness

That’s the look I saw on Obama’s face when he took the oath of office. It’s not many presidents that you can say this about. Most look like you’ve just dropped an anvil on their heads. It’s like the weight of the job they are about to undertake is crushing them. Not Barack Obama though. He looks like he’s excited. Like he relishes the tasks ahead. In fact he looks like a guy who just won the lottery. Crazy I know, but aren’t you delighted that we finally have a president who looks like he actually wants the job?!

Inaugural Observations – Finally… A Coat!

ClintonI’ve lived in our nation’s capital, and you can believe this frog when he tells you that winter in DC is FREAKIN’ COLD!  So one has to wonder… What drives our newly elected presidents to deliver their inaugural addresses sans coat?  Reagan did it.  Clinton did it…twice!  William Henry Harrison gave the longest inaugural address in history on a bitterly cold, wet March day with…you guessed it…no coat!  He died 30 days later of pneumonia.

But Barack Obama wore his coat.  Good for you President Obama!  Wouldn’t want you dying on us.  You’ve got way too much work ahead of you.

Inaugural Observations – Indecent Obscurity

BushOne thing you can count where ex-presidents are concerned is that Republicans, once they leave office, pretty much disappear from the scene. From Eisenhower on, the legacy of post-presidential non-achievement is unbroken.

If we’re very, Very, VERY lucky Bush, having returned to the territory slightly to the East of the Pecos, will never be heard from again.

A Grisly Exclamation Point On Bush’s Presidency

I have resisted writing about the appalling situation in the Gaza strip because over the years the switch in my politics from pro to anti-Israel, has cost me many friends. But now, with a withdrawal and ceasefire looming, there’s something about this situation that needs to be said.

There is no question that blowing up busloads of Israeli citizens is evil. Lobbing crude rockets into civilian populations, as Hamas did at the outset of the conflict, is evil. But for Israel to then turn around and claim that what looks like a systematic attempt to exterminate the captive population of Gaza is a proportional response is the height of lunacy. Bombing hospitals, with children playing on the roof, is evil. Dropping white-phosphorous munitions…by the ton, on civilians, is evil. Trying to sink a boatload of doctors that are trying to bring relief to Gazan hospitals, is evil.

But perhaps most evil, is the cold calculation that dictates that the invasion must take place in the final month of Bush’s term and must be stopped before he leaves. And why? Because Bush supports Israel as no US president ever has through his monumental indifference. While Israel exterminates dozens of civilians for each militant they manage to kill, Bush calls off the State Department and forces the US to abstain when, even the spineless diplomats of the UN, resolve to condemn the invasion.

Thus, a thousand people had to die for no better reason than the fact that Bush is on the way out.

Papua Merdeka – Free West Papua

Free West Papua
Free West Papua
The jailing five Australians “for illegally entering Indonesia’s Papua province” shines an unwanted spotlight on this forgotten corner of the world. SMH

Indonesia would rather West Papua remained invisible, that the ongoing atrocities against the Melanesian population remain ignored.

Indonesians live in fear of West Papua freedom building the same sort of Australian and international support as their former colony of Timor Leste (East Timor). It seems the Australia government share that concern.

It should and you should know about this amazing region which boasts some of the greatest diversity on Earth, including flora and fauna, but extending to an incredible range of linguistic groups.

You can find out for yourself with search terms: New Guinea – Papua – West Papua – Irian Jaya…

Indonesia, it seems, will not allow basic freedoms for this subjugated population without world pressure to do so. Papua Merdeka – Free Papua more…

iNews Friday – 1/16/2009

From the iNews 9000 Turbo wi-fi headline translator —

Headline: Clinton Challenged on Donations to Library
Translation: Records show Mideast governments paid fines on 46,667 overdue books

Headline: Accusations reignite Europe’s gas row
Translation: “The nation who smelt it, dealt it,” Germany insists

Headline: At 114, world’s oldest person reveals no secret for longevity
Translation: Plans to auction secret to pay mortgage, student loans

Headline: Schwarzenegger calls for ‘year of political courage’ to solve budget
Translation: Governator asks lawmakers to forgo pay, live on royalty checks from movie careers

Headline: Democrats seek billions for IT
Translation: Sen. Byrd subpoenas Clara Bow as expert witness

Headline: Swayze – I’m alive and I’ll stay that way
Translation: World’s oldest person sues Swayze for theft of trade secrets

Headline: Ricardo Montalban Dead at 88
Translation: Admiral Kirk never bothered to check on his progress

Headline: “Prisoner” Star Patrick McGoohan Dies
Translation: Authorities downplay witness reports of large white beachball fleeing scene

Headline: Methane plumes spotted on Mars may be a sign of life
Translation: Germany denies secret cabbage roll disposal program

Headline: UN says a “few more days” to clinch Gaza ceasefire
Translation: UN reprographics center temporarily out of sky-blue presentation binders

Headline: Bush to Pass Torch, Highlight Accomplishments in Farewell Address
Translation: Bush drops torch during handoff – inferno destroys Cheney archives

At Wiseline Institute NW: Bush cites pro-life legacy – Is carrying 3rd trimester fetus