iNews Friday: now with VIDEO! – 3/14/2008

Headline:

Translation: Russia elects Pet Shop Boys to succeed Putin

Headline: Translation:

Headline: McCain Criticizes Ambitious Bear Study
Translation: McCain wants Endangered status for pic-a-nic baskets

Headline: Spitzer linked to prostitution ring
Translation: “No lobbying took place,” says Spitzer

Headline: Drugs Found in Drinking Water
Translation: Bush-Cheney slipped America a Roofie – “I passed out in Florida in 2000 and woke up in Iraq,” charges distraught nation

Headline: New York Lt. Governor says he’s in limbo
Translation: Pope asks Paterson to find out what happens to souls of babies

Headline: Boeing to file protest over Air Force KC-X tanker decision
Translation: Boeing 7-Protest-7 already a year behind schedule

Headline: NY Times – “New York’s government cannot afford to be paralyzed while Mr. Spitzer games his political prospects”
Translation: Certainly not at Emperors VIP prices

Headline: Ferraro – Obama is lucky he’s black
Translation: Says the genius behind the 1984 Mondale landslide

Headline: Aircraft Carrier Eisenhower Heads to Iran
Translation: Military Industrial Complex announces plan to sacrifice Eisenhower in Tonkin-esque non-attack

Headline: Pentagon seeks uniformity on taping interrogations
Translation: Pentagon regroups after investing in HD-DVD, may revive the 8-Track

Headline: Monk Protests in Tibet Draw Chinese Security
Translation: China begs Tony Shaloub to call off his followers

Headline: Carlyle Fund in Free Fall As Its Banks Get Nervous
Translation: Gee, if only they had a friend in the government to bail out all those leveraged investments…

Headline: Congress Holds Secret Spying Session
Translation: GOP Caucus holds James Bond movie night at Boehner’s house

Headline:

Translation: Mentally drafting divorce settlement
Translation (Turbo Mode): “Why weren’t MY overproduced and derivative R&B pop songs enough to satisfy you?”

Headline: Queen Elizabeth opens new Heathrow terminal
Translation: Bush opens new payday loan franchise

3 thoughts on “iNews Friday: now with VIDEO! – 3/14/2008”

  1. I started playing both headline and interp videos at the same time and it is actually on cue! Ha! One should green screen Bushes image into the Nazi clogging bit…

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