Republican presidential nominee John Sidney McCain III scored big with the important malevolent energy cloud-being demographic in last night’s debate against Democratic rival Barack Obama, a post-debate snap-poll has found.
Of 280 malevolent energy cloud-beings surveyed by phone, 90% thought McCain had won, while 8% weren’t sure, and 2% favored independent candidate Ralph Nader.
Like “NASCAR dads” and “security moms” of recent elections, members of the hyperintelligent non-corporeal community have emerged as an important force in the 2008 election, due to the injection of charged issues of race, fear of terrorism, and an uncertain economy.
“McCain’s negative energy and dark soul attracts Zan-Tor,” said Zan-Tor, a malevolent energy cloud-being who works for the Washington Department of Motor Vehicles in Auburn, Washington.
“McCain has gone negative all this week, Zan-Tor feels That One will best adapt to serve Zan-Tor,” Zan-Tor explained.
“Zan-Tor feeds on conflict, and McCain will make the nations of the world fight. Zan-Tor supports this,” Zan-Tor said, going on to say that Zan-Tor can see the dark aura around McCain’s head.
Another malevolent energy cloud-being, a Florida resident who goes by the name Coul-Ter, said she feels McCain won the debate because he scared the most people.
“Coul-Ter is drawn to fear, and McCain scared the most Humans during the debate. He is like one of us. He scared them about health care, national security, and most of all the economy, the fear tastes good to Coul-Ter,” she said.
Malevolent energy cloud-being Rush-Limbaugh, perhaps the best known malevolent energy cloud-being-American, said malevolent energy cloud-beings back McCain and his running mate Sarah Palin because malevolent energy cloud-beings place a high importance on lack of education.
“Rush-Limbaugh says negative energy and fear come from ignorance,” Rush-Limbaugh observed, noting that McCain would make President Bush’s knowledge cuts permanent.
“McCain is the kind of guy malevolent energy cloud-beings want to drink a Human’s life energy with. The performance of McCain in this debate pretty much locked up his support among malevolent energy cloud-beings,” Rush-Limbaugh said.