iNews Friday, 10-17-2008

From the iNews 9000 Turbo wi-fi headline translator–

Headline: Speaker at McCain rally says non-Christians want an Obama win
Translation“Finally, O Lord, we pray thou givest us ample warning of the IRS visit”

Headline: John McCain rally in Iowa marked by partisan prayer
TranslationGod returns Iowa contributions

Headline: ‘Pitbull’ found guilty of abusing power
TranslationAnd that shade of lipstick is all wrong for that color flea collar

Headline: McCain vows to whip Obama’s ‘you know what’
TranslationSubstantive policy differences? Coattails?
Translation (Turbo mode):  McCain launches ‘Behind’ phase of campaign

Headline: McCain urges supporters to dial down Obama abuse
TranslationPalin says “These go to 11”

Headline: Krugman Wins Economics Nobel
Translation“Obama is palling around with Nobelists”

Headline: Television Review – ‘My Own Worst Enemy’
TranslationSynopsis – A secret government agency transforms a normal senator into “Playboy,” a reckless, selfish, womanizing Navy aviator

Headline: Video games feature ads for Obama’s campaign
TranslationMcCain’s campaign advertises in moviehouse newsreels

Headline: Cheney goes to hospital for irregular heartbeat
Translation“Cheney’s heart is fundamentally sound,” McCain assures nation

Headline: Thai, Cambodia armies to meet after border battle
TranslationMediators hope for settlement, makeup sex

Headline: Mariners GM job highly coveted
TranslationChrysler accepts Mariners GM job by mistake – team announces layoffs of 1600 workers at three factories

Headline: McCain compares Obama’s tax plans to Hoover
TranslationUndecideds liken McCain’s tax plan to vacuum cleaner

Headline (Photo mode):


3 thoughts on “iNews Friday, 10-17-2008”

  1. That photo from the Sacramento area GOP tears it. I love how their spokesperson defended it saying that it wasn’t racist at all. Bigoted f*cks!

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