Palin daughters endorse Obama/iNews Friday

The McCain-Palin campaign lost a pair of endorsements today, with the announcement by key Palin children Bristol and Piper that they are backing Democratic frontrunner Barack Obama for President.

“His kids look so happy and well adjusted, I believe Obama can make the whole country that way,” Piper Palin, 7, said wistfully.

The Palin sisters are only the latest in a series of Republicans who have endorsed Obama over GOP nominee John Sidney McCain III, including former Secretary of State Colin Powell, former Governor William Weld of Massachusetts, former Governor Arne Carlson of Minnesota, and Hoover the Republican logo elephant.

Piper Palin said the last straw was the disclosure that her mother, GOP vice presidential running mate Governor Sarah Palin, improperly had the state of Alaska pay for the girls’ travel expenses when Palin children made trips with their mother.

Gov. Palin’s claim forms said Bristol, 18, Willow, 13, and Piper had accompanied their mother on official state business. Bristol and Piper deny this.

“I’m not going to be dragged down by Travelgate, having that on my permanent record that follows me the rest of my life,” said a precociously emphatic Piper.

“Thanks, but no thanks,” Piper added. Piper went on to say that she is fed up with being the primary caregiver for Trig Palin, 10 months. The job was thrust on her without any training or contract, she claimed.

“I have been working for free, and Mommy has stalled for weeks on finalizing my contract,” said Piper.

“I don’t know if I have disability coverage. My back is a mess from schlepping Trig all over the country,” she said.

Bristol Palin said she felt outrage upon learning the Republican National Committee had spent $150,000 on a wardrobe for Gov. Palin. “Right now my mom is redistributing the closet space in our house in Wasilla, taking it all for herself.”

“Where am I supposed to keep all my maternity clothes?” Bristol wondered.


iNews Friday – 10/31/2008

From the iNews 9000 Turbo wi-fi headline translator–

Headline: ‘I’m going to win it,’ McCain declares
Translation: McCain confident his business card will be drawn from fishbowl to win free Marie Callender entree

Headline: Time running out for McCain
Translation: McCain urges Americans to renew subscriptions, 1 year only $20

Headline: Brewers’ Zduriencik to be Mariners GM

Translation: Mel Cooley names Rob Petrie to head club’s media campaign

Headline: Alleged Plot to Kill Obama, 88 Others, Foiled
Translation: “Designer Brown Shirts” formed – first Sarah Palin Fan Club

Headline: White supremacists ‘plotted to assassinate Barack Obama in top hats and tails’
Translation: Troubled banks deny Neo Nazis’ credit card applications – unable to leave deposit at tux rental store

Headline: Former Sonics team makes debut
Translation: Oklahoma City inherits grand losing tradition

Headline: Group releases anti-Obama DVD in 5 newspapers
Translation: McCain backers redistribute all known copies of “Mandingo”

Headline: McCain camp pushes Obama-Khalidi ties
Translation: McCain also ties Obama to supporter Scarlett Johansson, who was in The Black Dahlia with Steve Eastin, who was in Rails & Ties with Kevin Bacon

Headline: Mariners mum on Griffey
Translation: Team not sure slugger is over-the-hill enough

5 thoughts on “Palin daughters endorse Obama/iNews Friday”

  1. I hear that Todd wanted to go over to Obama too, but Sarah threatened to cut him off. I’m not talking just witholding sex, I’m talking Lorena Bobbitt style ‘cut him off.’ And anybody that knows how to field dress a moose says that to you, you take them seriously.

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