Practical Solutions to America’s Problems

Blackwater – We unleashed them in the Gulf only to discover that they fire on innocent civilians, rape their own employees and generally create mayhem. Solution: Drop them in Ciudad Juarez or Tijuana, and let them deal with the drug gangs that are turning Mexico into a shooting gallery.

The S.E.C.They’re sorry for not doing their job overseeing Wall Street (crash and burn) and that now infamous ponzi scheme (Madoff). Well sorry doesn’t cut it. I say fire the lot and replace them with out of work United Auto Workers.

Dick Cheney – The self-admitted “Torturer in Chief” is about to find himself out of a job. So what’s next for our ex-Veep? How about president of the N.R.A.? He could follow in the great Charlton Heston’s footsteps. Just don’t let him bring a gun to any meetings.

CitiGroup/Bank of America – Let’s solve the credit crunch, executive pay, and retail sales issues in one throw. From now on all banking executives will receive their compensation in the form of Mastercard/Visa gift cards issued by their employers.

3 thoughts on “Practical Solutions to America’s Problems”

  1. I thought Blackwater was going to be employed dealing with pirates round the Horn of Africa. Given no-one else can spank their bottoms the blackwater crew seem the ideal solution.

    Your list, of course, becomes progressively hateful after that. Well done!

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