GOP strips presidential vocabulary from bill – Boehner cries

The Obama administration suffered a setback today, when Congressional Republicans succeeded in stripping reauthorization for new Presidential vocabulary from a Fiscal Year 2009 Federal supplemental budget bill.

House Minority leader John Boehner of Ohio said the victory sets the tone for the GOP caucus agenda in the 111th Congress.

“President Obama’s extravagant wordiness is the wrong message to send in these times of belt-tightening,” said a visibly emotional Boehner.

“Republicans oppose the new administration’s uneconomical use of nouns, verbs and modifiers. When the American people voted for change, they didn’t mean a government that started wasting words like a drunken Shakespearean actor,” Boehner said.

“They want their president to be a man of few words. People were always saying to me that President Bush should talk less.”

Boehner - A lot of chopped onions went into legislative win.
Boehner - A lot of chopped onions went into that press statement.

“We know what the people want, and it’s small words, limited vocabulary, and vague and undetailed pronouncements,” he said. Overcome with tears, aides draped Boehner’s shoulders in a velvet cape, and helped him to the House cloak room to rest.

A snap poll conducted by pollster Stan Dardeviasian Research showed the GOP position on Obama’s vocabulary to be popular among the party’s largely monosyllabic base.

Word came almost immediately from the White House that President Obama accepted the loss of new vocabulary in the budget, and would not resubmit the proposal this year.

However, Press Secretary Robert Gibbs told reporters the president’s vocabulary would not be affected.

“There is a huge accumulated surplus of unused presidential vocabulary left over from the previous administration, enough to last decades,” Gibbs said.

5 thoughts on “GOP strips presidential vocabulary from bill – Boehner cries”

  1. Is this serious? Holy mother of fucking Jeebus. The country is in the shitter, economically and reputationally and this boner is bitching about language. Sorry, if my New Yorker shows here, are you fucking kidding me?

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