Bob Woodward preferred over Massengill, Summer’s Eve – Rumormongering called astringent, refreshing

Veteran journalist Bob Woodward may become known for more than being a muckraker, if the personal health products industry is able to capitalize on the startling results of a scientific study into internal feminine hygiene washes.

Woodward, a Washington Post Associate Editor, was preferred by 323, or 64%, of the 506 women participating in the study by the National Alliance for Internal Research (NAIR), a feminine products trade group.

The study surveyed women about their normal hygiene regimens, and then replaced the internal feminine hygiene wash they normally use with a video of Woodward alluding to unspecified, yet-to-be disclosed scandals in the Obama administration.

“Wow, what a douche,” study participant Jane F. said after watching the video.

“Woodward works just as well as Massengill, old-fashioned vinegar and water, or even Senator McCain’s views on the economic stimulus package,” she said.

This opinion was echoed by Melinda K., another study participant, who prefers Summer’s Eve. “I’d have to say Bob Woodward’s tabloid-style rumormongering leaves me feeling refreshed,” said Melinda, who went on to say that she would cleanse with Woodward’s reporting all the time if fragrances are added.

NAIR spokesman Max E. Wing said his organization is excited at the prospect of making the study’s findings available to its members, which include Proctor and Gamble, Johnson and Johnson, and the Heritage Foundation. All hope to offer new Bob Woodward-based douches by this fall.

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