Rush Limbaugh says he has been accused through the years of bashing Democrats, and now President Barack Obama, without offering solutions of his own. This time, the conservative talker says, he wants his critics to know he is putting the country first.
“My friends, I have a plan for getting America out of this economic crisis,” Limbaugh said this morning on his national radio program.
“The elements of my plan are time-tested and, because we’re Republicans, it is a simple plan,” he said.
“I propose we do what many businessmen have done since the dawn of capitalism. Namely, we’re going to burn down the United States for the insurance money,” intoned Limbaugh.
“Think about it, my friends. No one likes insurance companies, it’s time we made them pay up. If it’s an American insurance company, we’d only be getting back what they got in the Wall Street bail out. Billions of dollars returned to us to buy SUVs, plasma TVs, and gold coins from Lear Financial,” he said.
“And if it’s a foreign-owned insurance company, who cares,” Limbaugh added.
“I call on you, my dittohead army. I can’t do this without you. Prepare your glass bottles, your gasoline, your oily rags, your Bic grill lighters. Stand ready and wait for me to broadcast the go-signal, brought to you by the Sleep Number Bed by SelectComfort.”
The radio host says his plan first depends on the failure of President Obama’s economic policies. “I hope he fails,” says Limbaugh.
“The best thing would be another depression. An Obama depression will mean millions of shuttered businesses, all those empty buildings will go up like kindling,” Limbaugh said.
Limbaugh went on to say that his plan will also help ease America’s energy crisis. “I plan to use regular old gasoline as an accelerant. This will lead to fuel scarcity, and price increases. This will help the oil industry weather the Obama depression.”
In other news today, Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele attacked President Obama’s economic stimulus plan. “There are millions for fish passages, but not one dime for defunct web services/catering businesses,” said Steele.