iNews Friday – 5/9/2008

From the iNews 9000 Turbo Wi-Fi headline translator–

Headline: Supreme Court upholds photo ID law for voters in Indiana
Translation: Indiana Doesn’t Want Me

Headline: Yanks turn to Wang versus Mariners
Translation: Seattle fans work on new versions of ‘Yankees Suck’ chant

Headline: Clinton calls for gas tax vote, Obama calls it ‘shell’ game
Translation: Shell says reaping billions in profits is fun, but hardly a game

Headline: Scott Ritter – Attack on Iran ‘virtually guaranteed’
Translation: Cheney denies guarantee – “Absolutely no refunds”

Headline: North Korea turns over cache of long-sought nuclear weapons documents
Translation: “Misfiled under ‘nucular’,” Pyongyang says

Headline: Facebook Partners With AGs for Kids’ Safety
Translation: Kids invited to be Michael Mukasey’s friend, chat online about enhanced interrogation techniques

Headline: Dread-ed night comes for ‘Idol’ Castro
Translation: Paula Abdul criticizes Cuba for policy it hasn’t implemented yet

Headline: Did Rush Limbaugh Tilt Indiana?
Translation: Rush Limbaugh goes for walk along Lake Michigan – Low-lying areas of Gary report major flooding

Headline: McCain’s wife won’t release her tax returns
Translation: McCain denies withholding tax returns – “Cindy hasn’t filed in years”

Headline: Clinton Aide Says Race May Not Go to Convention
Translation: One race not invited – Clinton aide coins new term, ‘a-party-heid’

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