My Dream Ticket – Huckabee vs. Whoever

The California presidential primary approaches, and frankly I no longer care which Democrat wins. My man Edwards is out of the race. Senator Obama is unqualified and Senator Clinton is a corporate shill who I don’t really think will change anything.

One Nation Under God?That is not to say I don’t care how this election shapes up. I do. The fact that a Democrat is probably going to romp notwithstanding, I want my party’s standard bearer to beat the right opponent, and by that I mean the right opponent—the far right—as right as it gets, and that’s Mike Huckabee.

“Why Huckabee?” you might ask. After all, on a number of issues, like incarceration, he’s more progressive than his GOP stablemates. Nope…it’s because evangelical conservatives are lining up to support him, and they’re my real target. You see I want a repudiation of the, “God’s country,” “Christian Nation,” “…my country right or wrong,” wackos who’ve controlled debate for a couple of decades now. I want the Constitution to again be the supreme law of the land and liberty to be our guiding principle. In short, I want there to be wailing, rending of clothing, and gnashing of teeth from the buckle to the tip of the Bible Belt!

Robert Tilton - ParasiteI want to see money-grubbing televangelists laid low, with the IRS as the avenging angel. I want some good old-fashioned book burning. Keep the Bible but pile up the pseudo-religious pamphlets—“Your’s for only a $20.00 donation to our godly ministry!”—bring on the gasoline, and light ’em up!

I want to see 12-step programs for neo-cons. “Hi. My name’s Paul Wolfowitz, and I used to flog the idea of preemptive war. – Hi Paul”. I want every Republican who ever used the term ‘gay agenda’ to occupy a special float in the next San Francisco Pride Day Parade. In short, I want Huckabee because he’s the standard bearer for a group that typifies everything that is wrong with this nation. I want him to lose and lose badly. Then…and only then, I’ll start to hope.