My Dream Ticket – Huckabee vs. Whoever

The California presidential primary approaches, and frankly I no longer care which Democrat wins. My man Edwards is out of the race. Senator Obama is unqualified and Senator Clinton is a corporate shill who I don’t really think will change anything.

One Nation Under God?That is not to say I don’t care how this election shapes up. I do. The fact that a Democrat is probably going to romp notwithstanding, I want my party’s standard bearer to beat the right opponent, and by that I mean the right opponent—the far right—as right as it gets, and that’s Mike Huckabee.

“Why Huckabee?” you might ask. After all, on a number of issues, like incarceration, he’s more progressive than his GOP stablemates. Nope…it’s because evangelical conservatives are lining up to support him, and they’re my real target. You see I want a repudiation of the, “God’s country,” “Christian Nation,” “…my country right or wrong,” wackos who’ve controlled debate for a couple of decades now. I want the Constitution to again be the supreme law of the land and liberty to be our guiding principle. In short, I want there to be wailing, rending of clothing, and gnashing of teeth from the buckle to the tip of the Bible Belt!

Robert Tilton - ParasiteI want to see money-grubbing televangelists laid low, with the IRS as the avenging angel. I want some good old-fashioned book burning. Keep the Bible but pile up the pseudo-religious pamphlets—“Your’s for only a $20.00 donation to our godly ministry!”—bring on the gasoline, and light ’em up!

I want to see 12-step programs for neo-cons. “Hi. My name’s Paul Wolfowitz, and I used to flog the idea of preemptive war. – Hi Paul”. I want every Republican who ever used the term ‘gay agenda’ to occupy a special float in the next San Francisco Pride Day Parade. In short, I want Huckabee because he’s the standard bearer for a group that typifies everything that is wrong with this nation. I want him to lose and lose badly. Then…and only then, I’ll start to hope.

23 thoughts on “My Dream Ticket – Huckabee vs. Whoever”

  1. Yeah, I’d love to see (formerly) Jabba the Huck running, too, possibly with Tom Tancredo as a running mate, but it’s not going to happen. Unless something changes dramatically, it’ll be McCain. On the other hand, it’ll be fun watching the howler monkeys of the conservative media machine explode into fountains of impotent rage at the thought of a McCain presidency, and then explode again when Hitlery beats him.

  2. Sounds like you want two pounds of flesh. You know the big problem is that the winner is always too busy to revisit the past – or afraid of setting the precedent.

  3. LC… Yeah the media circus will be something to see, but if it’s McCain vs. Clinton, then we’ve got the smallest possible poltical distance between the choices.

    Cartledge… More than two pounds worth… some days I want to wall off ‘Jesusland’ from the rest of the nation. I know where we really need a border fence.

  4. Amen! Err. . .I mean, “right on” brutha. . .

    Heh, heh! If only I could deliver it like Dr. King…or Dennis Leary. Either would do.

    Fran… Was hoping my little explosion over here wouldn’t offend…too much. Mostly I’m a militant agnostic, but I’m sick of our slow march toward ‘Sharia Christianity’.

  5. “if it’s McCain vs. Clinton, then we’ve got the smallest possible poltical distance between the choices.”

    Never fear, Ralph Nader is riding to the rescue…ya know, since that worked so well last time.

  6. Obama is the one to watch. Qualified is a very subjective word. (With all due respect, of course.) I was for Kucinich, and cast my absentee primary ballot for him. I knew he had no chance, but he was the only candidate for an immediate end to the war in Iraq. Now he’s gone, but that in no way makes me want to sit things out. That sort of thinking will cost us all–and we’ve paid dearly for our collective apathy, these last 7 years.

  7. Huck would be an interesting candidate..Krazy Karl would love to lead the charge for Huck, he could re-use all those wedge issues.

  8. LC… Oh, don’t get me started on that f*ckstick Nader. I end up pissing somebody off every time I open my mouth where he’s concerned.

    Annie… Who wants to sit things out? I haven’t ‘sat out’ an election in 25 years of voting. In fact my whole political life is based on the fact that I got cheated out of voting against Reagan. (A year too young.) I’m just pointing out that, when the Dem is sure to win, you want it to be the right kind of victory.

    Dusty… Exactly what I’m after…wedge issues galore.

  9. I hear ya, Kvatch. It would be nice to close the door on these religious wackos. What better way than to do it by repudiating their posterboy — Fuckabee (h/t to DCup at Jonestown for this phrase. Well h/t to her son.)

  10. “LC… Oh, don’t get me started on that f*ckstick Nader. I end up pissing somebody off every time I open my mouth where he’s concerned.”

    Oooh oooh! I wanna play! How about this: anyone who voted for that preening narcissist King Ralph in 2000, and especially anyone who is even remotely entertaining the idea of voting for him in 2008, is an utter moron.

  11. Dave… Many thanks. Glad to be back!

    T&A… Welcome to Ragebot. Romney? Bain and Co.’s most illustrious alum (next to Meg Whitman, of course)? I think he’s going down on his own. So we won’t get the opportunity, but it’s always fascinated my why evangelicals can’t make common cause with him. He’s got all the right positions. Even more so than Huckabee.

  12. Hey, Kvatch! Yeah….Huckabee and Obama, Hucabee vs Clinton – whatever.

    I’m so fucking disappointed and bummed that John Edwards dropped out.

  13. TomCat… No doubt. But perhaps Huckabee could be the Vice Presidential nominee, right? And McCain, you know…being as old as he is might…well…cack! And then…VOILA! (OMG, croak that with my outer voice?)

    I’m so fucking disappointed and bummed that John Edwards dropped out.

    Wordsmith… Me too. WTF and I going to do now?

  14. I would also like to see the fundamentalist Christian group take an ass kicking. I have wanted them to get theirs since the Christian Coalition came to Des Moines to destroy a school board member who came out before the election. They went door to door with pamphlets and told people that he was a child molester who encouraged children to be gay.

    After that I lived in Colorado Springs with Focus on the Family and the mega churches that make millions in the name of Jesus and then use it to spread ignorance, hatred, and fear. All things I am sure Jesus would support.

    I also was sad that Edwards dropped out. I had realized that he probably wouldn’t win the nomination, but he was the one pushing the debate to issues that matter. Change is nice, but I want to know how. And no one is ready to be president on day one. If they say they are, I don’t think you should trust them. I don’t think a sitting president is ever really ready because there is so much and it happens so fast.

  15. Hey Scott! Thanks for popping in. Yeah Edwards leaving the race was a bummer. Oh well…

    You lived in the Colorado Springs? The lion’s den, man! Been through there. Never stopped.

  16. I too am despondent over Edwards abdicating. I voted absentee and mailed it 2 days before he dropped out. I also for the first time EVER contributed to a campaign…his. If I’d only not mailed it yet I could have gotten another card to re-vote once he announced his departure. I have kicked myself silly. We are left with a couple of jokers to decide over ultimately. We’ll have to watch them and decide who entertains us the best. Oh the shame!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *