…people say our city is a trash-filled, graffiti covered, disgrace. I MEAN WHO THE F*CK TAGS A TREE FOR CHRIST’S SAKE?! And this is the second time.
Guessing how things will go down—based on how the assholes at the Department of Public Works reacted last time we got a major tag on our building—I expect the following:
In about a month we’ll receive a missive from the DPW taped to our front gate informing us that we need to remove the tag…on the tree…within two weeks…or the city will fine us. So we’ll do it. Of course that will mean stripping the bark which will probably kill the tree. Then the dead tree will get infested, and the DPW will let us know that we have to have it removed, at our own expense or—yes you guessed it—we’ll be fined. Finally, after we’ve spent thousands removing the tree and repairing the sidewalk, the DPW will inform us that if we don’t plant a new tree we’ll…wait for it…be fined for violating urban beautification statutes.
But at no time during this process will the little sh*t who did the tagging: Be sought, caught, criminally prosecuted, or fined. Even though we have a pretty good idea of where to find her/him, the SFPD’s response is usually something like, “What do you want us to do? We’ve got more important crimes to deal with.” Such is life in Babylon by the Bay.