From the iNews 9000 wi-fi headline translator—
Headline: Margaret Hamburg is President Obama’s pick to run the FDA
Translation: (What is that, a bump? More like a lump. It wasn’t there last week. Hey, I hold my cellphone on that side of my head…)
| Headline: Romania president’s flashy daughter seeks EU seat
Translation: Elena Basescu shows her position on the issues
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Headline: Kerlikowske is nominated to head nation’s drug control office
Translation: Drug czar relieved appointees no longer receive President-chosen nickname
| Headline: Palin’s Teenage Daughter Splits from Father of Her Child
Translation (Turbo mode): Levi Johnston gets milk for free – Plus 18 years of child support and college tuition |
Headline: Obama Establishes White House Council on Women and Girls
Translation: Obama mother-in-law appointed to Greenland-based council
| Headline: North Korean alert for “space launch”
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