iNews Friday – Seattle edition, 5/29/2009

From the iNews 9000 Turbo wi-fi headline translator—

Headline: Bear wanders through Seattle neighborhoods
Translation: “Bear for Mayor” – environmentalist launches mayoral bid

Headline: Letourneau, spouse to host “Hot for Teacher” night
Translation: United Federation of Humorists says Letourneau killing union jobs

Headline: Elusive Bear Makes Another Appearance
Translation: Bear continues “listening tour”

Headline: Former Metro driver who sold cocaine from his bus gets year in prison
Translation: Former Metro driver who sold cocaine from his bus sentenced to drive Route 358 for year

Headline: Trash cans removed from more parks in Seattle
Translation: Candidate bear decries “blatant anti-bear policy”

Headline: Police – ‘Temples’ provided sexual healing
Translation: Oldest Profession to March for Marvin Gaye Rights

Headline: Disabled plane lands at Seattle park
Translation: “Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit drinking soy-caramel triple macchiatos,” air traffic controller says

Headline: Microsoft May Rename Live Search ‘Bing’
Translation: Bing and Bob unite in “The Road to 404”

Headline: Countdown to Light Rail
Translation: Seattle gets ready to put on its big boy pants

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *