iNews Friday – 6/6/2008

Headline: Lesbian Kiss Too Much for Seattle Fans – Same-Sex Couple Sues After Faced With Ultimatum at Mariners Baseball Game
Translation: No on-field action worth watching

Headline: Dems seat delegates, but ignite new anger
Translation: Whoopie cushions blamed on Ickes

Headline: Fire erupts on Universal Studios backlot
Translation: FEMA plan to house Katrina families in “Rockford Files” trailer hits snag

Headline: Bush Says Senate Emissions Bill ‘Not the Right Way to Proceed’
Translation: Bush demands Senate Dining Room take bean soup off menu

Headline: Bill Clinton apologizes for ‘slimy’ reporter remark
Translation: Meant to say ‘cold and scaly’

Headline: Barack Obama makes history
Translation: McCain making early 20th Century history

Headline: What now for Hillary?
Translation (Showgirls mode): Clintons planning vacation with Elizabeth Berkeley and Gina Gershon – May attend Mariners road game
Translation (Gentle Cycle): Clintons planning vacation with Kyle MacLachlan and Gina Gershon

Headline: McCain – Obama promises wrong kind of change
Translation: McCain offers Americans a dime and three quarters for a buck

Headline: Lohans in court over visitation dispute
Translation: Dad misses Lindsay’s money

Headline: $21.5 Million Is a Record for McCain
Translation: Cindy McCain boosts hubby’s allowance

2 thoughts on “iNews Friday – 6/6/2008”

  1. Can we offer ultimatums to ugly couples kissing at ballgames, too?

    Lighten up, future complainers. Some people ARE ugly. I see one in the mirror every morning!

    McCain maybe made Revolutionary-era history. Get him a tri-corner hat and it’s Benedict Arnold!

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