(Washington) The nation’s capital took a break from the hard work of governance today, as the Republican Brothers and Boehner & Flailing brought their three-ring media circus to town.
An excited crowd filled the darkened Senate Judiciary Committee chamber this morning. Senator Jim Bunting got so excited he peed himself when a hush fell over the audience.
Ringmaster Jeff Sessions stepped into the spotlight and got things started with the traditional introduction of, “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, wise Latina women of all ages — welcome to the Greatest Sideshow On Earth!”
And what a show it was! First came trapeze artists The Supreme 5, a unique act that somehow manages to swing only in one direction.
Next was gypsy fortuneteller Tom Coburn, who told the future of one lucky audience member, Sonia Sotomayor of New York City.
Coburn was followed by lion tamer Orrin Hatch, who held at bay the circus’ newest beast, Empathy, the crack of a flaccid noodle sounding in the air.
Hearts stopped when Lindsay Graham stepped onto a high wire far above the crowd. At the halfway point, he paused to juggle white male patriarchy with his insistence life experience should be a disqualifier for the high court.
But everyone’s favorites are the clowns, and there sure were a lot of them! At one point an impossible number of them poured out of a tiny ideological box, to the audience’s delight.
A good time was had by all. By the end, only John Ensign was left to sweep up the elephant poop.
The one disappointment was the news that one act, the comedian Norm Coleman, had left the circus. His replacement, Al Franken, was not funny at all.