GOP votes to dump mascot – “Elephant is not from America”

The Republican Party’s familiar elephant mascot may soon join the ranks of the unemployed, if the recommendation of a special party panel is adopted.

The seven-member committee, led by Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (MN-6), took the unprecedented step today in response to rising sensitivity
within GOP ranks about things really being from America.

“We have done a great investigation into the question, and quite simply the elephant is not from America,” said Bachmann, shortly after the 6-1 vote which adopted the bald eagle as the Republican mascot.

The lone dissenting vote was cast by Governor Charlie Crist of Florida. “I prefer the faaabulous pink flamingo,” Crist said.

Outside the committee’s meeting place at Washington’s Omni Shoreham Hotel, Bachmann spoke to a crowd of conservative activists known as “trunkers,” who oppose what they call the non-American elephant mascot. Many in the gathering held placards reading “It Is From Kenya,” and “Show Us The Pedigree.”

One couple, M.F. and Shirley A. Nutt of Westmost, North Carolina, cheered as the Minnesota House member told trunkers that the Republican Party has no problem claiming the eagle, already a national symbol, for partisan political purposes. “That’s what our party is all about,” Bachmann said.

The Nutts denied being species-ist. “But if we follow something it has to be born in America, not something from Africa and probably Muslim,” M.F. Nutt said.

12 thoughts on “GOP votes to dump mascot – “Elephant is not from America””

  1. Famed discrimination attorney Gloria Allred has stepped up to defend the Elephant saying he’s totally American. And by the way he’s not fat, just big boned thank you very much.

  2. I’ve long thought the elephant a fitting symbol for the GOP. Not because elephants are intelligent, social and in many ways highly civilized animals. No, it has to do with the size and weight of elephants’ droppings.

  3. I think the bald eagle is a glorious animal, I’ve got nothing against elephants, or pigs, another good alternative, but I think the Nutts have made an appropriate choice.

    Yes the bald eagle is magnificent, a symbol of the American wild, but it is also a predator. Fish are its main source of food, it also follows flocks of migrating geese, and picks off the weak and those to old to make it along their well traveled path. If there is no weak prey they go for the healthy. Presumably those critters without health insurance.

    So, a predator as a symbol for the GOP. It’s about time.

  4. it’s hard to think of a critter that I think deserves to be the Republican mascot. No matter what I come up with, I can think of too many redeeming qualities to doom it to such a fate. Black widow spider maybe? Mosquito? Wasp? I vote for wasp.

  5. They’re going to dump the elephant?

    Well, whatever the mascot is… I DUMP ON IT.


    Given the choice, I think the Naked Mole Rat would be about right. Google images for “Naked Mole Rat” and tell me… am I not right? 8-)>

  6. I’m thinking that some dinosaurs might be appropriate. Any species that can be demonstrated to have died out because it was too stupid to adapt. Something slow and thick-skinned like the Stegasaurus perhaps.

    Was there ever a creature called the Hypocrisaurus? That would be perfect. Actually anything that never existed at all would be good.

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