iNews Friday – 6/27/08

Headline: George Carlin dies at 71
Translation: Bush – Persnickety “Bob Newhart Show” patient will be missed

Headline: Bachmann – Alaska’s Caribou Will Love Oil Drilling ‘Because Of The Warmth Of The Pipeline’
Translation: Bachmann announces “huge” diamond mine discovered in her family cat’s litter box

Headline: US may open diplomatic outpost in Iran
Translation: Iran demands huge damage deposit, still checking credit and references

Headline: Court cuts judgment in Valdez disaster
Translation: “Where would Exxon find that kind of money?” -Scalia

Headline: Nader plays the race card
Translation: McCain plays AARP card
Translation (Turbo mode): Bush plays Pokemon card
Translation (Overclocked this-goes-to-11 mode): Cindy McCain plays Phoenix Dermabrasion Clinic punch card

Headline: Nader – Obama sounds white
Translation: Nader still sounds irrelevant

Headline: Michael Steele for McCain’s VP
Translation: Ex-Bangle wants to hear McCain’s demo tape first

Headline: Schwarzenegger says feeding oil addiction no answer
Translation
: Schwarzenegger says we need the energy equivalent of steroids

2 thoughts on “iNews Friday – 6/27/08”

  1. Headline: Nader – Obama sounds white
    Translation: Nader still sounds irrelevant

    Translation (turbo-mode): Bob Barr sounds like Nader.

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