iNews Friday, 10/16/2009

A sampling of this week’s output from the iNews 9000 Turbo wi-fi headline translator—

Headline: The Nobel Prize & Obama Derangement Syndrome
Translation: Treatment not covered by insurance – preexisting condition!

Headline: God is not the Creator, claims academic
Translation: Conservapedia hit by Denial of Metaphysical Service outage

Headline: (Fox) ‘Special Report’ Panel Questions the Nobel Peace Prize
Translation: Probably on a waterboard

Headline: Insurance industry’s last-minute pressure backfiring
Translation: No one believes United Health would really kill the kitten

Headline: Republican Olympia Snowe to support healthcare bill
Translation: Poster of Snowe w/Hitler mustache rolling off presses

Headline: Limbaugh dropped from NFL bid
Translation: Fumble!

Headline: Limbaugh- Checketts approached me
Translation: Rush won’t receive a check of any size from NFL

Headline: Internet All A-Twitter Over Meghan McCain Photo
Translation: Not the first time a McCain has had a problem with boobs

Headline: 4th Grader Asks Obama, “Why Do People Hate You”
Translation: “The same reason Rush wants you to ride on a separate bus”

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