iNews Friday, 10/23/2009

A sampling of this week’s output from the iNews 9000 Turbo wi-fi headline translator—

Headline: Sheriff – Boy-in-balloon was hoax, charges expected
Translation: 13-week series on TruTV expected

Headline: White House officials to appear on Fox News
Translation: With digitally inserted Hitler moustaches?

Headline: Sheriff – Boy in Balloon Was Hoax
Translation: Up, Up and Away for 3-5 years

Headline: Norwegian Draws Fire over Nobel Choice
Translation: Teabaggers’ kids going as Thorbjørn Jagland for Halloween

Headline (Seattle filter): Conservatives like what they see in Hutchison
Translation: They have seen her birth certificate

Headline: Glenn Beck Now Travelling with Armed Body Guard
Translation: Guard buys uniform – brown shirt, armband, jodhpurs

Headline: Gibbs ramps up Cheney feud
Translation: “He knows what he did”

Headline: New Cheney Taking Stage for the GOP
Translation: Liz Cheney still workshopping her sneer; to have practice heart surgery

Headline: US urges probe of Sri Lanka war
Translation: Get in line, Sri Lanka – line forms behind Bush/Cheney

Headline: Pie Guy Soupy Sales Dies at 83
Translation
: Boomer generation is crustfallen

Headline: Optional public option enters health care talks
Translation: WAIT GODDAMMIT THAT’S NOT WHAT WE MEANT- ah suck.

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