iNews Friday, 10/30/2009

A sampling of this week’s output from the iNews 9000 Turbo wi-fi headline translator—

Headline: Behind the War Between White House and Fox
Translation: Inspectors find poison gas in Beck’s private bathroom

Headline: Northwest Airlines Flight Flies Past Destination
Translation: And yet the luggage arrived on time.

Headline: Obama- Winner of the clean-energy race will lead global economy
Translation: Fox News puts sugar in US gas tank

Headline: Alan Grayson admits he went too far in calling a lobbyist “A K Street whore”
Translation: “I apologize to whores everywhere”

Headline: Lieberman ‘the least of Harry Reid’s problems’
Translation: Any move for cloture will happen Fridays after sunset

Headline: Boeing chooses SC for 787 line
Translation: Mark Sanford- “Boeing is South Carolina’s soulmate”
Translation (Turbo mode): Charleston line already 2 years behind schedule.

Headline: Recovery ends US recession
Translation: Robust teabag sales lead economy’s rebound

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