A sampling of this week’s output from the iNews 9000 Turbo wi-fi headline translator—
Headline: Behind the War Between White House and Fox
Translation: Inspectors find poison gas in Beck’s private bathroom
Headline: Northwest Airlines Flight Flies Past Destination
Translation: And yet the luggage arrived on time.
Headline: Obama- Winner of the clean-energy race will lead global economy
Translation: Fox News puts sugar in US gas tank
Headline: Alan Grayson admits he went too far in calling a lobbyist “A K Street whore”
Translation: “I apologize to whores everywhere”
Headline: Lieberman ‘the least of Harry Reid’s problems’
Translation: Any move for cloture will happen Fridays after sunset
Headline: Boeing chooses SC for 787 line
Translation: Mark Sanford- “Boeing is South Carolina’s soulmate”
Translation (Turbo mode): Charleston line already 2 years behind schedule.
Headline: Recovery ends US recession
Translation: Robust teabag sales lead economy’s rebound