Lieberman offers health reform plan – “Private option” would give Treasury to insurance companies

Sen. Joe Lieberman introduced his own health care reform proposal today, one relying on private insurance and cost-cutting. The measure is the Connecticut Indepublican’s first move since announcing his opposition to any Democratic bill containing a government-run public insurance option.

Lieberman calls his bill “the private option.”

Under Lieberman’s plan, the U.S. Treasury would be transferred to a consortium of the nation’s largest health insurance companies led by Wellpoint and United Health. Giving all the public’s money directly to health insurance companies would lower costs by cutting out the middleman, according to Lieberman.

“Insurance companies are currently saddled with the enormous cost of collecting thousands of metric tons of cash from our doctors offices, hospital rooms, ERs and piggy banks,” he explained.

“This is an expensive proposition.  Twenty cents of every health care dollar currently pays for picking up that dollar from wherever it is, and moving it to the joint insurance industry vault at the United Health Group in Minnetonka, Minnesota,” said Lieberman.

“The private option will end this practice.  By giving the entire U.S. Treasury to the insurance companies, you’re paying them when you pay your taxes. Now that’s what I call introducing efficiency into a system,” he said.

Lieberman’s proposal is already receiving positive comments from both sides of the aisle.  Sen. Evan Bayh (D-IN) says there is much to like about the private option. “My wife is on the board of Wellpoint, and I can’t tell you the number of times she has thrown out her back from lifting bags of cash.  A private option means she wouldn’t have to risk her health like that anymore.”

House Minority Leader John Boehner echoed Bayh’s support. “The current system isn’t just expensive, it’s also wasteful. When they move the cash they don’t always have enough bags, and some of it inevitably falls out of the wheelbarrows. Ending that waste, it should be at the top of our list,” Boehner said.

4 thoughts on “Lieberman offers health reform plan – “Private option” would give Treasury to insurance companies”

  1. This only scratches the surface of the savings that could be made. Why not just transfer your paycheck electronically directly into Wellpoint’s account?

    Of course the most wasteful item of all in the health care system is when they are forced to actually treat someone. They do seem to be trying their hardest to put an end to that though. Gawd bless ’em.

  2. Many a true word is spoken in jest. Great plan Joe. Any plans for all the dead bodies that’ll be piling up, food, fuel? Sure you’ll think of something.

  3. “My wife is on the board of Wellpoint, and I can’t tell you the number of times she has thrown out her back from lifting bags of cash.”

    I bet she was covered.

  4. @1: That would be Monty Python’s “Never Pay Policy.”

    @2: Branding news from Madison Avenue — Wellpoint is now ‘Soylent.’

    @3: Ironically, it happened at work, so she was covered by State Workers Comp.

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