Foxx moves to preempt health reform terror

Saying America has more to fear from a government-managed health insurance option than terrorism, Congresswoman Virginia Foxx (R-NC) today introduced sweeping legislation that would place health care reform on a national terror watch list, among a host of security measures.

Foxx’s bill, nicknamed the USA PATIENT Act, has veteran Washington insiders buzzing due to its inclusion of funds for:

  • A Health Legislation Security Administration, a superagency with TSA-like powers. HLSA would screen everyone entering the Capitol, to prevent members of Congress from carrying in reform proposals.
  • Members of the Progressive Caucus, such as Rep. Dennis Kucinich, D-OH, would be on a special Public Option Watch List and required to take off their shoes when screened.
  • Coverage for Americans lacking insurance would be contracted to Black Cross, a new division of Xi, the international security firm formerly known as Blackwater. Black Cross claims adjusters would have immunity from prosecution, but would be paid on commission.
  • Makes interfering with a health insurance claims department a violation of FAA regulations. Violators would be violated and then detained in a shipping container without food or water.
  • Establishes a color-coded Public Option Terror Alert System. Black would denote Elevated risk of a Public Option, while High risk of a Public Option is indicated by Black. A Low risk of a Public Option is Black. It is the same color-coding sequence Foxx used a year ago to alert constituents to the election of Barack Obama.

Foxx also called on the White House to immediately launch attacks on Kucinich with unmanned drones.

Sen. Joe Lieberman (Connecticut For Lieberman-CT) said he is supportive of Foxx’s legislation. Noting the estimated cost of the PATIENT Act is $800 billion over ten years — $71 billion less than a Democratic plan if it includes a robust Public Option — Lieberman commented, “See? It IS better to do nothing.”

5 thoughts on “Foxx moves to preempt health reform terror”

  1. North Carolina politicians are jealous of all the attention South Carolina politicians have been getting this year, so enter Ms Foxx, my question to her would be: “How do you pronounce the second x in your name?”

  2. Dennis Kucinich was also required to surrender his belt to agents and was publicly flogged before C-SPAN cameras and a jeering crowd of Republicans.

  3. In all seriousness (or at least all that I can personally muster) I think you’re on to something here. You could have a public option, hell even a single payer system, TOMORROW. All you have to do is make it a military program.

    No US legislator ever opposes military spending, especially if the program has even a toehold in their own district or state. No president ever vetoes a military project, no matter how ludicrous, expensive or ineffective (Sgt. York anti-aircraft system, B-2 bomber, F-22, V-22 Osprey; the list is endless.)

    All the cloak and dagger, need-to-know National Security, hush-hush crap that usually only covers up sheer incompetence and corruption can be instantly translated into something worthwhile – patient confidentiality.

    As an idea, I’ve seen worse.

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