iNews Friday, 11/20/2009

A sampling of this week’s output from the iNews 9000 Turbo wi-fi headline translator—

Headline: George W. Bush- I Kept my Values
Translation: “In my pocket- oh wait, that’s lint”

Headline: NASA discovers ‘significant’ amount of water on moon
Translation: “Forget it Jake, it’s Tranquility Base”

Headline: US opens its first marijuana cafe
Translation: “You want lots and lots and lots of fries with that?”

Headline: Palin says presidency “not on my radar screen”
Translation: Palin’s radar still busy searching for rearing Putin

Headline: Palin tells Oprah she won’t rule out 2012
Translation: “I might catch a matinee.”

Headline: Palin reportedly spending Thanksgiving in Richland
Translation: Fundraising; thinks all the rich people live there.

Headline: Oprah Winfrey to End Her Program in 2011
Translation: Fears having to interview Palin again in 2012

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