Stupak offers compromise – Coverage of premature ejaculation treatment could delay abortions “by as much as 6-7 minutes”

Anti-abortion congressman Bart Stupak today notified fellow Democrats that he is willing to modify his controversial health care reform amendment restricting abortion funding.

The Michigan 1st District representative hopes to improve chances his restrictions will be in the final version of reform after reconciliation with the version that will come out of the Senate, which is about to begin floor debate.

Stupak’s amended amendment would add the guarantee for all Americans of universal coverage for treatment of premature ejaculation.

“Guaranteeing access to P.E. treatment would limit abortions by as much as 6 to 7 minutes, each, but doesn’t further restrict women’s reproductive rights,” he said.

“This represents pro-life Americans extending a hand of compromise to pro-death Americans, the kind of compromise abortion foes are all about,” Stupak said magnanimously.

However, his compromise is drawing the ire of one leader of the pro-life movement.  Operation Rescue founder Randall Terry said delaying ejaculation interferes with conception.  “Putting it off by 6 or 7 minutes, that’s delaying the creation of sacred life and therefore unacceptable,” said Terry.

“Besides, without premature ejaculation I wouldn’t have the anger and self-loathing that drives my anti-abortion crusade,” Terry said.

5 thoughts on “Stupak offers compromise – Coverage of premature ejaculation treatment could delay abortions “by as much as 6-7 minutes””

  1. Well, even that would be an improvement. Unfortunately they’d be more likely to accept coverage of some sort of anti-viagra to impose a nationwide state of permanent “wilt”. Terry (and everyone else) would have frustrated sour nervous evergy to spare.

    Actually I suspect abortion will be covered, but with so many Republican-imposed abstacles that it will take ten months to get one.

  2. I read last week that, at some time in their lives, ninety percent of men suffer from premature ejaculation.

    I, however, know for a fact that this is not true. Men do not suffer from premature ejaculation. Women suffer, the men just cum fast.

    Also, I woman said to me a few weeks ago, “Um, is it in?”

    And I replied, “In? Hell, I’m done!”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *