A sampling of this week’s output from the iNews 9000 Turbo wi-fi headline translator—
Headline: ‘NOVA’ looks at Japanese midget sub in Pearl Harbor attack
Translation: Palin demands Vern Troyer’s birth certificate
Headline: Missing DNA linked to childhood obesity
Translation: Still no solution to missing Fritos mystery
Headline: Reid Compares Opponents of Health Care Reform to Supporters of Slavery
Translation: And that was a compliment
Headline: Christian group vs. Hastings – court to decide
Translation: Teabaggers demand William The Conqueror’s birth certificate
Headline: Palin to make time for Freedom Club in Minnesota
Translation: Palin makes time to club truth over the head
Headline: Bachmann and Palin each claim a rotunda
Translation: Bachmann and Palin cancel each other out in flash of crazy
Headline: Greenhouse Gases Imperil Health, EPA Announces
Translation: Disco is dead, EPA also announces
Headline: Democrats reach deal on health plan
Translation: Horse Committee reaches deal on camel design
Headline: Study Shows Casual Sex Not Damaging for Mental Health
Translation: Study key in Mark Sanford getting off in the Legislature. So to speak.
* There, I said it. What are ya gonna do, report me to Bill O’Reilly?
I have to tell my wife about the last one. Every time I have casual sex she goes fucking batshit.
@1
Try telling her the sex with her is casual as well.