More air travel safeguards – Passengers will now travel in cargo

The Transportation Security Administration today announced new regulations covering international flights to the United States. The additional security measures are in response to a Christmas Day incident, in which Abdul Farouk Umar Abdulmutallab, 23, the London-educated son of the former chairman of the First Bank of Nigeria, is alleged to have set off an incendiary device on board a Northwest Airlines flight from Amsterdam to Detroit.

The new rules require all passengers to travel in the cargo holds of aircraft, said TSA spokesman Gard Frandle. “Palletized loading and transport of air travelers will result in an unprecedented new level of in-flight safety,” said Frandle.

Under the plan, each tranquilized passenger will be sealed inside a climate controlled steel box for loading into the lower part of the airplane.

An advantage of the new rules for the airlines is that passenger cabins are now freed up for baggage. “We’re taking the limits off the amount of luggage allowed on flights, and providing a level of service and comfort heretofore unseen for luggage traveling first class,” said Bertie McFraundle of British Airways.

However, travelers will be limited to one banker’s offspring in their carry-ons.

8 thoughts on “More air travel safeguards – Passengers will now travel in cargo”

  1. Under the plan, each tranquilized passenger will be sealed inside a climate controlled steel box for loading into the lower part of the airplane.

    You know…I bet that just forcing everyone to wear flame-retardant pants would be cheaper.

  2. Strangely, this almost sounds like a good idea. Basically this would be the only thing that would work to keep this type of thing from happening.

  3. For the ultimate in flight safety, ban passengers altogether.

    Oh, and replace DHS and TSA with the writers and cast of Saturday Night Live. If we’re going to have a low comedy act on the federal payroll, we might as well get the best, plus a few laughs.

  4. I think this is the same as was done in the movie The 5th Element, where everyone was instantly sedated upon entering their cabin slot. For long flights this would be a neat way to get past short lived battery operated units like laptops that only show you two hours of a three hour movie before going limp.

    BTW Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment, “adios” and good luck in Ecuador.

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