Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin made her first regular appearance as a member of the Fox News team last night, in a performance being widely praised for her ability to point while making eye contact with the camera.
The 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee delivered the network’s 8 pm national weather forecast, showing off her new American Meteorogical Society certification.
Palin said the eastern U.S. establishment should expect continued cold temperatures, “because with a wave of his hand the Almighty is gonna freeze all you elitists in carbonite.”
“Sodomites in San Francisco will experience locusts, fire and brimstone,” she continued. “While in the red states, expect flight delays in the event of Rapture what with all the people flyin’ up to meet Jesus.”
“There’ll be a lot of rain in Seattle, which you could see if it wasn’t covered by all these white swirly things,” said Palin.
“Seattle’s red on this map — not because it’s a red state, but because they’re socialists,” she said.
Palin supporters no doubt had their fingers crossed as their hero concluded her inaugural broadcast with a forecast for the Far East. She rewarded their faith by correctly describing the difference between North and South Korea. “North Korea is the one above the dotted line,” she said.