Robertson, Limbaugh sweep Demons Choice Awards

(Westmost, NC) Conservative media personalities were the big winners at yesterday’s Demons Choice Awards, the evil industry’s annual gala held at the Dukes of Hazzard Theater in downtown Westmost.

Talk show host Rush Limbaugh won three awards and television evangelist and Christian Broadcasting Network founder Pat Robertson took home four of the coveted Demons Choice statuettes, the depleted uranium winged lizard with fangs stained with real human blood.

Limbaugh’s politicization of Haiti disaster relief brought him victories in the categories of Satan’s Favorite Handmaiden, Most Likely To Share Hitler’s Dorm Room In Hell, and “The Severed Ear” — which goes to the past year’s highest-rated radio program in Hades.

While Limbaugh won because of his Haiti work, it was Robertson who took repugnance to the next level by falsely blaming God for the Haiti earthquake and deaths of thousands. The Virginia Beach, VA, televangelist won Favorite Hound Of Hell, Most Admired Incubus, and the ceremony’s most coveted award, Spiked Phallus of The Year.

Robertson was also given a fourth honor, the Rev. Jim Jones Lifetime Achievement Award.

Backstage after the ceremony, Robertson flashed a fanged smile for photographers while cradling his radioactive statuettes. However, Robertson’s image failed to register in any of the photos.

8 thoughts on “Robertson, Limbaugh sweep Demons Choice Awards”

  1. Good satire, but I can’t help wondering, quite seriously, what outrage from these clowns will finally be enough for a sickened, disgusted public to turn away from them once and for all. Yes, something so horrible that even the selfish, resentful, low-functioning drones who revel in Limbaugh’s perversity will have had enough.

    Maybe it can’t be done, but I’m encouraged remembering that Sen. Joe McCarthy finally went too far and got called out by a decent, outraged lawyer. And then, the public turned permanently away from McCarthy and what he was doing.

    Limbaugh and Robertson are way overdue.

  2. And you know where that spiked phallus is going to end up, once Robertson is finally down in his boss’s domain permanently.

    To SW Anderson: This kind of thing is an incremental process. Robertson is already a figure of ridicule and revulsion to most Americans — even this bipartisanship-obsessed White House called him out for his Haïti remarks, which is a pretty clear sign that rejection of him is a consensus position. He’s considered respectable only by Frank Schaeffer’s “loud twenty million”. The same is true of Limbaugh to a lesser degree. Every time they say something disgusting and it gets publicized, a certain number of additional people are turned off.

  3. You guys are a bunch of childish idiots. Progressives are losing on every issue and you waste time with this? We deserve every loss that’s certain to come our way.

    [Administrator’s Note] –
    Our friend here surf’s in from adsl-99-148-170-116.dsl.rcsntx.sbcglobal.net, almost certainly not an IP or ISP that the ‘real’ Helen would use.

  4. You guys are a bunch of childish idiots. Progressives are losing on every issue and you waste time with this? We deserve every loss that’s certain to come our way.

    Feeling a little put upon there in NYC my friend? I somehow doubt that you and I, or you and just about anybody around here, would constitute a “we”. Progressives would be losing in Congress, if there actually were any progressives in Congress. Sadly there aren’t—just a bunch of corporatist shills.

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