Separate but Equal

The Navy is about to lift its decades old ban on women serving aboard submarines. Now…setting aside the obviously charged issue of equality for the members of our armed forces, I have the nagging sense that men and women serving together in the closed environment of a submarine is still a bad idea, and I’d like to put forward a modest proposal to deal with the issue.

Why not just have men’s and women’s subs? I’m saying split the fleet right down the middle and avoid all of the problems. In doing so, situations like these will almost certainly be avoided:

You want me to sleep in that nasty bunk without even fresh sheets? I don’t THINK so!

The seat’s up again!

I’m going to need at least 10 more square feet of closet space.

‘Shit-on-a-shingle’? Couldn’t I just have a salad…with the dressing on the side?

What do you mean, ‘…make a hole’? [SMACK!]

Cruise missiles? Couldn’t we just talk it over?

Seriously, we could have women crew the ‘boomers’ and men crew the attack subs. Thus women would have the keys to the really big bombs (not to mention larger quarters); men would spend all their time hunting the women; and war would effectively end. Simplicity itself!

7 thoughts on “Separate but Equal”

  1. It surprises me that they didn’t make the corps of submariners all female long ago. Generally speaking, women can handle the stress of being cooped up better than men. They get along better in close quarters and they’re physically smaller.

    Then again, it’s not like the really expect the military brass to take a critical look at how we run things, do we?

  2. Zenyenta… Well she’ll probably chime in soon, but suffice to say that the funniest of the little quips in the post was hers.

    Thomas… A good point that I’d not considered. I’m all for turning over the submarine corp to the female of the species…hell…the whole military for that matter.

  3. Zenyenta – I agree with Kvatch, but I would make it separate, but bigger. (I need my closet space). Bring on the boomers!

  4. It will spawn at least one new comedy series for sure.

    Off topic, Kvatch, I ran across some news this morning that worries me for your sake:

    Atrazine, one of the most commonly used and controversial weedkillers, can turn male frogs into females, researchers reported on Monday.The experiment is the first to show such complete effects of atrazine, which had been known to disrupt hormones and which is one of the chief suspects in the decline of amphibians such as frogs around the world
    http://www.commondreams.org/headline/2010/03/02-6

    Stay out of the weeds, Froggie!!

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