The Navy is about to lift its decades old ban on women serving aboard submarines. Now…setting aside the obviously charged issue of equality for the members of our armed forces, I have the nagging sense that men and women serving together in the closed environment of a submarine is still a bad idea, and I’d like to put forward a modest proposal to deal with the issue.
Why not just have men’s and women’s subs? I’m saying split the fleet right down the middle and avoid all of the problems. In doing so, situations like these will almost certainly be avoided:
You want me to sleep in that nasty bunk without even fresh sheets? I don’t THINK so!
The seat’s up again!
I’m going to need at least 10 more square feet of closet space.
‘Shit-on-a-shingle’? Couldn’t I just have a salad…with the dressing on the side?
What do you mean, ‘…make a hole’? [SMACK!]
Cruise missiles? Couldn’t we just talk it over?
Seriously, we could have women crew the ‘boomers’ and men crew the attack subs. Thus women would have the keys to the really big bombs (not to mention larger quarters); men would spend all their time hunting the women; and war would effectively end. Simplicity itself!