Future Headlines: One Final Surge And Then We’re Done

ESA ANNOUNCES: TITAN’S SURFACE ORGANICS SURPASS OIL RESERVES ON EARTH

BUSH ADMINISTRATION INSISTS TITAN GIVE UP ITS WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION

U.S. MILITARY BEGINS OPERATION ‘LONG-ARM-O-THE-LAW’, MOBILIZES FOR PLANETARY INVASION

HALLIBURTON MOVES CORPORATE H.Q. TO MARS, CITES READINESS TO SUPPORT THE TROOPS

HUGO CHAVEZ CLAIMS TITAN NOT ELIGIBLE FOR OPEC MEMBERSHIP

SEN. HILLARY CLINTON VOTES FOR INVASION THEN CLAIMS SHE MADE A MISTAKE

SEN. BARACK OBAMA CLAIMS WE SHOULD INVADE THEN VOTES AGAINST IT

SEN. JOHN MCCAIN INSISTS U.S. INVADE EVERY ‘OIL RICH’ PLANET IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM

9 thoughts on “Future Headlines: One Final Surge And Then We’re Done”

  1. Russia and China both withhold security council votes to invade Titan. “It’s an energy program, not a weapon of mass destruction”, says Zrpgrppppp the Titan ambassador to the United Federation of Planets.

  2. TITAN OVERLORDS STILL DON’T LET FEMALE TITANIANS PILOT SPACE ORBITERS

    SPACE TANKER STRIKES SATURN RINGS, BILLION GALLONS OF OIL GLOBS NOW IN ORBIT – CAPTAIN JOSEPH HAZELWOOD WAS DRUNK

    TITAN PORTS WORLD SEEKS PERMISSION TO BUY CAPE CANAVERAL

    IAEA REPORT: TITAN CLOAKING DEVICE PROGRAM FOR PEACEFUL PURPOSES

    BUSH MEETS WITH PRINCE ZRPGRPPPPP, STROLL WHILE HOLDING TENTACLES

    CHENEY WON’T DISCLOSE MEMBERSHIP OF ENERGY TASK FORCE

  3. Ahhh froggy, it has been a long hard day, and I’m in danger of of offending the gorgeous frogette alas. However, methinks the frog is tripping over his multiple, extended, knobby toes here. “SEN. HILLARY CLINTON VOTES FOR INVASION THEN CLAIMS SHE MADE A MISTAKE” Hillary, my dear amphibian friend, is a woman. Mistake?
    Blokes make mistakes because they are males – colour is not an issue – But you can’t argue women make mistakes surely. Did frogette make a mistake by selecting her froggy? Has she since repudiated her froggy? Where was I going with this argument?
    To bed probably, it has been a long hard day…

  4. KEN LAY COMES BACK FROM ‘THE DEAD’, WELL TANNED AFTER EXTENDED VACATION IN FIJI. “DAMN, THIS IS JUST TOO GOOD AN OPPORTUNITY TO PASS UP”, SAYS FORMER ‘CORPSE’, ENRON CEO.

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