Be Prepared

Portland (f-A-ke. P.) —

Today representatives of the Boy Scouts of America vigorously defended their organization against charges that they have systematically covered up allegations of sexual abuse of scouts for decades.  When asked about the widely publicized civil case against Timor Dykes, an assistant scoutmaster in Portland accused of molesting a young man in the 1980’s, a BSoA representative said:

As you all know, the Boy Scouts of America would never allow a lesbian to be a scoutmaster. Therefore this case is obviously without merit.

In response to a question about the so-called “perversion files” that may be introduced into evidence at the Dykes trial, the representative muttered, “…f*cking clerical error! Somebody wasn’t ‘prepared’…,” before quickly leaving the press conference.

4 thoughts on “Be Prepared”

  1. You’d think it was the Catholic church that had taken over the Boy Scouts instead of the Mormans. But then, what is really the deal with the magic underwear?

  2. Ahhh, nothing says good wholesome American fun like child rape.

    I’m so glad organizations like this are here to defend our morality.

  3. Zanyata: I’ve heard, anecdotally, that the Morons have major sex abuse problems too. The cultish nature of that group may be keeping those problems from coming to attention of the general public.

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