iNews Friday, 3/26/2010

A sampling of this week’s output from the iNews 9000 Turbo wi-fi headline translator—

Headline: Formaldehyde found in designer clothes
Translation: Secret of well-preserved celebrities revealed

Headline: Stupak called ‘baby-killer’ on House floor
Translation: Republican shouts-out his lunch order

Headline: Obama allies target bank reform after health care win
Translation: “Obama forcing you to keep money in bank,” GOP claims

Headline: Texas Republican says he shouted ‘baby killer’
Translation: Neugebauer surprises nation – Uses two-syllable words

Headline: GOP State Officials to Try Blocking Healthcare Law in Court
Translation: GOP sends Obstruction down to AAA ball

Headline: Sarah Palin travel show coming to Discovery
Translation: Cable channel changing name to Incurious.

Headline: Bricks Shatter Windows At Rep. Louise Slaughter’s Office
Translation: Teabaggers hold 1st annual Kkkristallnacht

Headline: Bitter melon extracts can cure breast cancer
Translation: Use found for vegetable that already tastes like medicine

Headline: Bullet that hit Cantor’s office ‘randomly fired skyward’
Translation: Dick Cheney hunting nearby

2 thoughts on “iNews Friday, 3/26/2010”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *