Long lines mean Soviet-style shortages are here, Tea Party blogger says

President Obama is creating an economic disaster, a prominent Tea Party activist said today.

“Long lines for bread, clothing and toilet paper were common in the Soviet Union and now we’re seeing the same sort of thing here — long Apple Store lines means socialism has arrived,” movement leader Mike Vanderfrandle wrote in his well-known blog Americans Seeing Socialism Everywhere in Society (A.S.S.E.S.).

Interviewed by PC Üser Alles magazine, Vanderfrandle cited recent occurrences of long store lines in many parts of the country as evidence of shortages.

Vanderfrandle said he had a realization when he saw TV news coverage of customers waiting all night outside Apple Stores for the introduction of the company’s highly anticipated iPad tablet computer.

“I realized it had to have been caused by the Obama Administration’s tax and health care policies,” said Vanderfrandle, “a socialist, big-government fascist conspiracy against us in the Tea Party who only learned to type with two fingers.”

Explaining that he currently dictates his blog to a third grade student who can type, Vanderfrandle said a touchscreen computer would make A.S.S.E.S. and other right-wing bloggers more self-reliant. “An iPad just needs one finger to use, so obviously the Democrat Party has to prevent us from getting our hands on iPads,” he said.

Vanderfrandle doesn’t believe claims that lines at Apple Stores are long only because the iPad is so popular. “If it’s so popular why didn’t they simply make more of them in the first place? No, it can’t be a coincidence that this so-called shortage happened right after passage of Obamacare.”

And has Vanderfrandle ordered an iPad himself?

“Are you crazy? I’m on Social Security disability and Food Stamps, I can’t afford an iPad.”

In a closely related story, Vanderfrandle has blogged that all Tea Party bloggers should get iPads to replace their harder to use PCs. “Break Dell, Gateway, and HP! Break their Windows 7. Break them NOW. Reboot and break them again,” he wrote.

3 thoughts on “Long lines mean Soviet-style shortages are here, Tea Party blogger says”

  1. Lovely depiction of the crazy that is out there. Satire and reality blurs when we look at these folks.

    Hey, I’m using one of your photos tomorrow – the snakes in airport luggage shot that Travel Pirates borrowed. Hope that’s okay. I’ll attribute you as well.

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