Coast Guard delays oil burn until somebody comes to their senses

Gulf Coast (f-A-k-e. P.)

In what’s being billed as one of the biggest environment efforts of the Obama Administration the Coast Guard announced today that it will not ignite the oil slick in Louisiana’s Gulf region. Bill Thompson, senior frigate commander went on record saying, “Well the truth is we’re not quite sure how to light it and we definitely don’t know how to put it out.”  Americans are concerned that a large black smoking cloud may not be a good alternative to the oil spill currently seeping from the downed rig.  Senate Republicans enacted a filibuster and immediately called for hearings. “Why can’t we just scoop that oil us and use it?”, Kay Bailey Hutchinson said. “Americans are starved for oil. It’s like we’re burnin’ money!”.  The Senator wasn’t alone in her concern.  The Tea Party has brought out their bass boats and homemade plastic scoops and are racing to the site as we speak. “This is America’s oil. I’m not going to let big Government just light it on fire!” Sarah Palin shouted from her bullhorn.  “It’s time to reclaim what’s ours!”

2 thoughts on “Coast Guard delays oil burn until somebody comes to their senses”

  1. It seems like there is finally some good news with the spill. The Houston Chronicle reports, U.S. ships were being outfitted earlier this month with four pairs of skimming booms airlifted from the Netherlands and should be deployed within days.” Could this be the turning point? For all those feeling pretty gloomy about this situation, I recommend a good laugh… Here’s a funny joke,

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