The Bush Administration is scrambling today to explain how Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot an American spy satellite while on a Pacific Ocean hunting trip.
It was the second accidental shooting involving Cheney. In February 2006 he accidentally shot Texas attorney Harry Whittington during a quail hunt near Corpus Christi, Texas.
An initial report by the Defense Department stated the accident occurred last night as Cheney and a group of friends, including Whittington, were hunting seagulls and albatross from the deck of the U.S.S. Lake Erie, a Navy cruiser.
The party had just downed a gull, and the Lake Erie left its accompanying line of support ships to retrieve it. Cheney spotted an albatross, and took aim. However at that moment the 5,000-pound spy satellite, launched in 2006 by the National Reconnaissance Office, crossed into Cheney’s line of fire just as he launched a Standard Missile 3.
The missile missed Whittington, but struck the bus-sized satellite in the rear. A Navy helicopter airlifted the satellite to Kapiolani Medical Center in Honolulu, where proctologists removed the missile after a six hour operation. The satellite is reported to be in critical condition, but improving.
Vice Presidential spokesperson Stella Artois told reporters that alcohol played no role in the accident, which is still under investigation.
Previously at Wiseline Institute NW: “Cupid in shooting accident – Harry Whittington critical, improving”