Rick Santorum – The Democrat’s Wet Dream

Prior to the 2008 election, I suggested that Mike Huckabee was the perfect candidate to run against the Democratic nominee, regardless of whom the nominee turned out to be. Well here it is 2012 and, with no credible primary challenger for President Shill, I am once again left wondering which of the truly awful Republican choices would provide the kind of conservative repudiation that I so long for. With that in mind, I’ve update my earlier post for this election season. “But who,” you might ask, “…really fits the mold of the right candidate (and by that, we mean far…far right) this time around?”

Romney? Not a chance. He’s not really a conservative, nor really much of anything except maybe a corporatist, and although you can fault him for that, social conservatives won’t make Romney “their man”. They’re simply not going to vote for a Mormon with televangelist hair and more money than most counties in Utah. Gingrich? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Gingrich isn’t a social conservative. He’s a wacko whose verbal indiscretions are only exceeded by his sexual indiscretions. So who then fits the mold of the perfect far right social demagogue? Oh…come on. We all know it has to be Santorum.

Santorum doesn’t have a liberal or progressive bone in his body. He’s a certified nightmare straight from the 15th century who has the benefit of sincerely believing all the dangerous, paranoid, hillbilly nonsense that spews from his pie-hole. Unlike Gingrich, who only plays a social conservative on television, Santorum could give the pope a run for his money, and keep in mind that we’re talking about the man ran the Holy Inquisition before he became God’s vicar on earth.

One Nation Under God?So please…let it be Santorum. Let’s have all the evangelicals and Tea Baggers line up to support him. The “Christian Nation,” O’Reilly watching, Dittohead pukes have controlled the political debate in this country for far too long, and it’s high time that a true conservative standard bearer got a McGovern style ass-kicking!

On election night I want to see all the Fox News talking heads choke on the word LANDSLIDE, even if I have to endure four more years of Obama in order to get my wish . In short, I want there to be wailing, rending of clothing, and gnashing of teeth from Sarah Palin’s Alaska to buckle of the Bible Belt!

I want to see the Koch brothers and their SuperPAC, ATM, trust-fund for the political class backers squirm for 8 months. I want them to flush $500 million down the toilet trying to get Santorum, a man they don’t really want in the White House, elected.

I want every Republican who mutters the term “fetal personhood” this election season to have to watch their daughter experience the institutionalized rape of an trans-vaginal ultrasound. Then…I want their daughters to decide to keep their babies! “Oh Mom…Dad I just can’t take care of a baby and attend Vassar at the same time. You’ll have to raise it for me. You don’t mind, do you?”

In short, I want Santorum because he’ll be a great standard bearer for a group of Americans that typify everything that is wrong with this nation. I want Santorum because he’ll lose…and lose badly.

7 thoughts on “Rick Santorum – The Democrat’s Wet Dream”

  1. A certain Peruvian you know points out that the experience from her country is that when you wish for the worst possible opposition candidate then they sometimes win.

  2. I would love to see that kind of landslide against the GOP… but as Matt H. says, it is too big a risk. If this nutjob won the Presidency by some horrible fluke, our country would be really in deep trouble.

  3. Matt, Mauigirl… I have to disagree. My perspective is that it’s a “win-win”. If Santorum is the nominee and is defeated, good on our side—maybe shut up the howlers on the right for a bit. If Santorum is the nominee and wins…well then that’s a pretty good indicator that it’s time for me to get the hell-outta-Dodge.

    The situation with Romney is a lot more muddled. I don’t for a moment think that Romney will cater to the Tea Baggers once he’s elected, but on the fiscal side he’s as much as admitted that he’ll make the economic divisions in our society a whole hell of a lot worse.

    No…Santorum is *my* man. I stick by my choice. ;-)

  4. Better have your escape plan ready Kvatch! Why do you think all the republican candidates are so gung-ho to build border fences. They know that if they are elected those fences will be needed to keep U.S. citizens from escaping!

  5. And thus he’ll NEVER be their candidate.

    But he’s been quite handy to rally the troops and get them used to voting again.

    I don’t think it’ll be Mittens either (nobody likes him, not the idiots or the smarties). And the country will never vote for a Mormon (no matter how rich or good looking – thinking of Huntsman here).

    There is finally talk of what I’ve come to see as the inevitability of a brokered-Convention necessity, and it will choose someone REALLY trustworthy (of their money anyhow).

    My guess is Jebbie.

    And why not? After this clown palooza he’ll look like a good “reclaimed” smart choice.

    Love your blog. I’m going to blogroll you!

    S

  6. Matt… I’ve speculated on the notion of border fences being necessary to “keep people in”, but there will always some malcontents who the powers that be would like to get rid of regardless. Maybe I can be one of those.

    Suzan… I think you’ve stopped by once or twice before, but if I’m not remembering correctly…welcome to Ragebot! Ol’ Jeb is a possibility, or perhaps the William Howard Taft of the 21st century, Gov. Christie? Anyway thanks for the roll. It’s much appreciated.

  7. I would also love to see the 2012 presidential election be a referendum on all kinds of wingnuttery… socioeconomic Darwinism, “moral values”, “Obama’s a secret Muslim”, etc. If the left got the right bounces, I could see Obama winning with as much as 55% of the vote.

    I believe a brokered convention is a strong possibility. If that’s the case, Obama could be in trouble. A new GOP candidate would suddenly energize the party. They would probably want someone like Christie or Jeb, but they way they’re going they’d probably pick somebody not as electable, like Marco Rubio, Bobby Jindal or Sarah Palin. But as long as the president gets to run against Mitt or a nutcase, his chances are good.

    A lot of us thought Dumbya would never even sniff the White House, but he “won” the first time and then actually got re-elected…

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