Fuck the Tourists!

It’s tourist season again in the nation’s capitol, and as the hundreds of thousands of our fellow citizens flock to Washington to spend some days contemplating our national treasures, some of us residents will invariably be asked for directions, for restaurant recommendation, or told with wide-eyed wonder how lucky we are to live amid such bounty.

I would humbly suggest to my fellow DC residents, that this is the opportune time to inform these naive vacationers of how we really feel about living on the congressional plantation. I suggest looking them straight in the eye and saying:

Fuck you and fuck your family!

It’s your representatives, your senators, that keep us in chains—unable to make our own laws, spend our own taxes, and exercise the most fundamental obligation of any American, the right to vote for our own representation.

If your concept of democracy is so exclusive that it doesn’t extend to the citizens of your nation’s capital, then GO-THE-FUCK-BACK where you came from and leave us in peace.

I guarantee that this will get Congress’ attention. Americans love to write their representatives when they feel they’ve been slighted.

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